In this episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer sits down with Nicholas Schmitt, Senior Director of Conflict Resolution and Training at Community Mediation Services in Queens, NY, to discuss practical strategies for handling difficult conversations. Whether it’s political discourse at family gatherings or heated debates among neighbors, Nicholas Schmitt shares expert tips for setting boundaries, remaining connected, and fostering brave, productive dialogue. The episode covers ways to navigate emotional triggers, establish healthy guidelines, and utilize mediation—even outside formal settings. Pamela Brewer and Nicholas Schmitt unpack what it means to approach conflicts with empathy and mindfulness, empowering listeners to engage more constructively year-round.

Topics Covered

• Setting boundaries before gatherings
• Managing triggering topics during family or social events
• Exiting conversations respectfully and maintaining connection

Key Takeaways

• Most political and emotional disagreements stem from underlying shared values, but different reasoning.
• Setting boundaries and having prepared phrases help prevent conversations from going awry.
• Hosts can bring structure to gatherings by creating spaces for challenging discussions and reminding participants of guidelines.
• It’s okay to exit a stressful conversation and prioritize your wellbeing without blaming others.

Top Quotes

1. “We operate from a space of intuitive values, and then we search for reasons from there for why we have those values.” — Nicholas Schmitt
2. “Come up with maybe some boundary phrases, so you're not hit by surprise and your brain goes blank when that topic comes up.” — Nicholas Schmitt
3. “There's no better way to break connection with another person than to say, ‘You are the problem and you are the reason we're breaking connection.’” — Nicholas Schmitt

Connect with the Guest

• Website: mediatenyc.org
• Email: [email protected]
• Phone: 718-523-6868

Resources List

• Community Mediation Services: mediatenyc.org
• Contact: [email protected], 718-523-6868
• Mediation referral information (for nationwide options): Reach out to Community Mediation Services or visit their website for help finding local organizations
• Training courses offered: Conflict resolution skills, positive communication, initial mediation training (inquire via website or contact info above)