“The conclusion and completion of a difficult life cycle won’t always feel celebratory, but be affirming of your humanity as you consider your navigation and settle into new life cycles.”

-Donnecia, @thickimusprime

I turn 30 in less than a month. It will be the official end of my Saturn return and the complete lunar eclipse in Scorpio (tropical) will be taking place on my birthday, November 7th. So many cycles are coming to an end. So many new cycles are starting. I can already feel the newness, as well as old things resurfacing for one more review and the last goodbye.

Contending with this energy has been requiring a lot of me, particularly emotionally and physically. I am grieving hopes and wishes that did not unfold on my preferred timeline. I am facing realities that I have managed to do a great job navigating, yet are still very difficult and painful to live through. I’m dealing with all of these very layered, very heavy, complex emotions while still showing up as I am led to, walking by faith and expecting more greatness and blessings in my future. There are a lot of nuances involved in these processes and allowing all of my feelings and experiences to coexist within me is necessary. But it’s also taxing on my mind, body, and spirit.

This month started off great for me. But now that we’re in the middle of the month, I’m realizing that as blessed as I’ve been and as grateful as I am, I really need and desire a lot more than what I currently have. And it’s become glaringly obvious that what I currently have is not all that is available to me. This is a great realization, but it also comes with a lot to sort through and plan. These stages of sorting and planning force me to face a lot of the very real things I deal with that affect how much I can do and what I feel capable of. As a person who lives with physical afflictions and chronic pain, this is not an easy thing to think about.

A big theme for me lately has been patience. Truthfully, this theme has always been important in my life (I’m a Saturday baby with an Aries moon, hello?). However, between 2021 and now, I have begun to look at time and patience in new ways that have helped me gain more understanding and approach life a lot differently. Though as I stated before, it has not all been easy. This unease, I believe, is the cost of freedom. It requires putting away old methods and ways of understanding so we can create or adopt new ones that get us closer to the life we know we should be living. This process does not come without patience, pain, sacrifice, and death. 

These are all precursors to the rebirth we must go through before we can step out of the old journey and step into the new one. These are all things that have led up to and prepared me for this huge life change that I feel coming, though I cannot see all of how the change will manifest. This is where functional faith comes in, but equally as important, it is where unconditional love for myself comes in. Where honoring and witnessing myself without judgment is extremely necessary.

I know that the cycles are ending. I know that the time for celebration is coming. But before I can completely fall into that, I have to address my hurt. My fears. My uncertainty. I cannot let go of things that I don’t acknowledge. It takes a lot of patience as well as courage to sort through these hardships, both internal and external. But this is the assignment that I have right now and it’s required before I can fully move into this new life that I have worked so hard to create for myself.

So as this New Moon eclipse approaches, as I gear up for these new cycles and to be reborn into this new life, I am prioritizing self-love, self-care, patience, and honesty.

I suggest ya’ll do the same.

Peace & Love,

Mila

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