So many people struggle with this human condition. It affects everyone, from individuals who have no one to count on, to those who have suffered a terrible loss, to those who have been mistreated. However, loneliness also affects people who have a life partner, a dear friend, or a group they’ve been welcomed into. The condition of loneliness grabs hold of all hearts at some time or other.

Loneliness seems to have mushroomed during this pandemic. From the initial lock-downs to continued social distancing. Even just “masking” seems to interfere with connecting. It’s as if we can’t really “see” one another.

Loneliness is common to all people, married or not, young or old, scientist or artist, medical provider or patient, career professional or home-maker, student or teacher, company president or line-worker. It’s an experience that gnaws at every heart.

Because loneliness is so common, you are in the normal group as you deal with it. Loneliness doesn’t ask permission to land. It simply steals into your heart, invades your well-being, and even threatens hope. The hungry ache of loneliness eats up joy and is a common human condition.

There are lots of human reasons for loneliness. Books have been written on the subject. We aren’t going to cover human reasons today. They are important, of course. Yet, let’s explore root conditions underneath loneliness.

As people seek meaningful existence, they yearn for deeper, richer relationships. Still, even with good friends/associates/family relationships in place, a person can still feel pangs of loneliness! Lonely people can wonder where their peace disappeared. How they ended up in emotional displacement. Or they ponder what is wrong with them. Even when things are going well, the invasion of loneliness can be a surprise.

That need – that drive – for deeper, meaningful intimacy is one of the greatest struggles of life. I’m going to boldly say the underlying element of loneliness is the human spirit crying out for more of God.

You can learn to manage loneliness effectively, or you can deny it’s existence and escape toward anything that might curb the hungry ache. To address loneliness, you need to take thoughtful action.

If you draw near God (a faith thing), loneliness can morph into comfort. Scripture says, “deep calls to deep.” (Ps. 42:7) Do you hear it? God is calling to your deepest person. And your deep – your full essence – is yearning to be satisfied inside your Creator’s deep. This is real.

At this root, under ground where no one can see, God meets the deepest needs of your heart, if you let Him. A tree rises from this root and requires nurture. Practicing a balanced lifestyle, investing in good relationships, working to be the best “you” possible, and staying actively involved – those are examples of things that can nurture you even with loneliness present. However, the game-changer starts underground, alone with God, where only He sees. This unseen place (your deep) is where you are established. When you invite (by faith) God’s deep into your deep, this becomes your safe place.

Since loneliness comes to all people, engage creative ideas to help manage it. Some are listed below.

It’s also good to have action plans to stay on top of your loneliness on a regular basis. Some example plan templates you can build on are explained below the creative ideas.

Creative ideas and strategic plans enhance your level of success. Ideas help you at a practical level. Strategic plans define action steps that empower you to courageously find good in your life – if you are looking for it. Plans also give you a starting point – if you are willing to grow up from your underground root. Having a plan also feeds creativity – if you are willing to put some energy into being creative.

These are few examples of creative ideas:

You can manage loneliness. Why not be invested in your personal growth?

Here are three simple plans with ideas to build on. Use them to develop your own plan.

“It is what I do in my solitude that makes me fit for company.” (C. S. Lewis.)

Sometimes loneliness is because you are disconnected with yourself. Schedule time to reconnect with the person God created you to be by reconnecting with God. Loneliness is often stronger when you are very tired or personal resources are depleted. You need renewal.

Getting away by yourself seems anti-productive when addressing loneliness. It can actually help manage loneliness. Re-connect with who God created you. Dedicate your time alone to just “be” with Jesus. He is the only One who renews you at your root. Then re-enter daily life with a heart that’s re-booted.

Here are ideas of things to do alone with God. Add your own:

Let yourself enjoy God as you enjoy the activities. Enjoy this “underground safe place” at your root.

Just as spending time alone can help address loneliness, scheduling time with someone you trust – a kindred spirit – can help. If you don’t have someone like that, start by asking God for that kind of friend. Then be patient as He answers.

Outings with a good friend need more planning than time with yourself since you are dealing with several schedules. Start to:

To be purposeful about your time with your friend, agree on a loose, flexible agenda of activities. Plan things you both enjoy. Relax together. Have a nice dinner out. In all your activities and conversations, work together to focus on God’s work in your lives. Enjoy laughing. Cry together, if needed. Share Scriptures together. Practice gratitude and cheer together. You’ll be amazed what God does through this fellowship!

(Follow health safety during our battle against covid-19. Be patient just a bit longer. We’re closing in on normal. You may need to mask, social distance, or be outside for now. Many people are “going outdoors” to be together. You may choose “Time From A Distance” – email, zoom, texting, phone, skype, etc. Choose an option for now to be with someone else. . . and plan for closer, normal contact in the near future. And we’re trusting God for that.)

You need a daily action plan at your root to address loneliness, especially if it plagues you often.

Fast-paced lives make it difficult to get away. On the practical level, you need a plan to address daily loneliness. Here are some ideas to help manage and be nurtured on a regular basis. Add your own.

So those are ideas you can incorporate into your daily schedule.

When you work to identify your needs, and set up good action plans, you build healthy responses to loneliness. Use Plan 1, Plan 2, and/or Plan 3 to build on so you can be healthy as you manage your loneliness. Let your deep respond to God’s deep.

Much of this post is an excerpt from  Reach Back: Intentionally Reaching Back to God. It explores many topics common to Jesus followers. This book is my most “order another copy” publication as people go through it again or pass it on to others.

Reach Back can be used for your own personal study, with a friend, or in a group. Perhaps it can be a resource you use in your plan to manage loneliness.

To order Reach Back.