In the Deep End

Navigating Love & Partnership: Lessons Learned & Personal Transformations


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In this insightful podcast episode, hosts Lexee and Tomas delve deep into the realms of love, intimacy, and partnership. They embark on a candid exploration of their personal experiences and reflections, addressing the challenges and complexities of relationships. From grappling with vulnerability and overcoming inherited doubts, to fumbling through early relationships and discovering profound self-awareness, they unravel the intricate tapestry of learning and growth within the context of partnerships.

With an emphasis on self-care and the importance of self-love, they emphasize that being in a partnership is a continual process of personal development.

Tomas shares his own transformative journey, driven by a desire to understand love, which includes reading books on relationships and experiencing a pivotal epiphany.

Together, they discuss the notion that "perfect" relationships evolve over time and highlight the significance of receiving and acknowledging love. They also touch upon the differences between men and women and reflect on the evolution of communication and coping mechanisms within their own relationships.

The episode concludes with a poignant exploration of grieving together with one's partner, highlighting the power of shared emotional support.

Tune in for a profound and thought-provoking conversation on navigating the intricate terrain of love, intimacy, and partnership.


What we cover in this episode:

  • 00:24 Love, Intimacy, Partnership Introduction
  • 01:41 Q-Have relationships been easy?
  • 04:05 Not knowing how to be vulnerable
  • 05:00 "Didn't work out for my parents why would it work out for me?"
  • 06:00 Lexee's first relationship in her 20s
  • 09:00 Where Tomas is coming from
  • 09:30 Healthy models of Love & Partnership
  • 11:06 "No guidebook for love"
  • 12:36 "Fumbling through our first relationships"
  • 15:00 Learning about Ourselves in Relationships
  • 18:53 Taking care of Ourselves in Relationships
  • 21:04 "Being in partnership is mostly learning how to love yourself"
  • 22:20 "We have to do the work on ourselves"
  • 24:22 Tomas' first relationship
  • 25:28 "I will never let a woman come between me & my ambition ever again"
  • 27:48 Tomas' quest to understand Love
  • 29:05 Reading books about Love and Relationships
  • 31:30 Tomas' Epiphany about Love
  • 33:15 "The perfect relationships are grown over time"
  • 34:20 Receiving and acknowledging Love
  • 36:00 Difference between Men and Women?
  • 39:05 Q-How has communication w/ your partner changed over time?
  • 41:45 "Appreciation for the little things"
  • 45:20 Q-How has coping while in a relationship changed for you?
  • 48:15 Grieving together with your partner

  • Books we Mention:

    Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin

    Men Who Can't Love by Steven Carter & Julia Sokol

    Secrets of a Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch

    The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman



    Where to find us:

    Tomas: - https://www.tomasvirgadulacoaching.com/

    Lexee: - https://www.instagram.com/tarotbylexee/

    - https://linktr.ee/tarotbylexee

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    In the Deep EndBy Tomas Virgadula & Lexee McEntee