Neglect and How it Can Affect Us

Having an absent parent can change your life. Neglect is an issue many of us face and sometimes the story has a happy ending. My foster sister Ray dealt with the loss of a parent. She’s one of the strongest people I know. My sister has gone through a lot, but one thing she had to deal with was neglect. My sister has struggled with a parent leaving, having to deal with constant reminders of her loss, and dealing with the situation emotionally.

My foster sister’s mom left her when she was four years old. Ray was left with her triplet siblings and her father. Ray didn't know why her mom left her, and she was confused. She still to this day does not know why she left. Ray went through many emotions, from blaming herself to confusion and depression. Ray didn't know what was happening to her, and this came at a time when she had to take care of her siblings. Ray’s siblings relied on her for emotional support, because they were younger than she was. In a way, she relied on them too.

Ray found herself reminiscing about the past while helping her siblings. Ray told me, “ I don't think about it often, but whenever something reminds me of her I tend to reminisce about how we’d all hang out together and watch movies.” Even though it was hard for her sometimes my sister remembered the good times with her mom.

Ray took good care of her siblings, and if they needed her she was there for them. Even though Ray had trouble opening up, she encouraged her siblings to do so because she wanted what’s best for them. Ray’s siblings relied on her for many things and that put a large amount of pressure on her. Ray didn't bother her younger siblings with her problems, she had to deal with the situation by herself emotionally. Ray didn't want to talk about it because she didn't quite understand what was happening to her. As Ray grew older, she began to understand what was going on in her life. Ray finally began to open up because she felt that she could talk about her situation in more detail because she understood what had truly happened.

Sometimes the struggles we go through help us to mature. My foster sister’s mom left her when she was only four years old. Ray had to take care of her siblings while wrestling with her own demons. As Ray grew older and realized her situation, she shut down. Ray fell into a deep depression and eventually began to open up when she understood what had happened to her. One way we could prevent what happened to my foster sister from happening to anyone else is to provide more resources for future parents. Ray felt some parents aren't truly ready for a child when it gets here, and they don't know what to do. More help and resources need to be provided for anyone who is a parent, or plans on becoming a parent so that they can succeed.