Our first episode we cover the heavy topic of suicide, and how it unexpectedly laid the foundation for our relationship. Join us as we go through our personal experiences and brief research on some of the mechanisms involved. We also reflect on the grief and complexity of losing someone to suicide, and how our own struggles shifted after that loss.

We touch on:

Our personal experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts

How childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and loneliness shaped our inner worlds

The neuroscience behind suicidal ideation and mood disorders like borderline personality disorder (BPD) and depression

The role of brain chemistry, trauma, and executive dysfunction in mental health

How safety plans, support systems, and compassionate conversations can reduce suicide risk

The stigma surrounding suicide and how we can better support each other through it

Join us as we experience the full range of emotions; from laughing about our origins, to crying, to intellectual discussion and our attempt to find meaning in a topic near and dear to our lives. This episode isn’t just about mental health struggles; it's about survival, understanding, connection, and healing.

💬 Whether you're someone who has battled these feelings yourself, know someone who has, or are simply ready for a real and raw conversation about mental health, this episode is a safe space for reflection and hope.

🧾 References: Also provided in the show notes

Gvion, Y., Levi-Belz, Y., Hadlaczky, G., & Apter, A. (2015). On the role of impulsivity and decision-making in suicidal behavior. World Journal of Psychiatry, 5(3), 255. https://doi.org/10.5498/wjp.v5.i3.255

Keilp, J. G., Sackeim, H. A., Brodsky, B. S., Oquendo, M. A., Malone, K. M., & Mann, J. J. (2001). Neuropsychological Dysfunction in Depressed Suicide Attempters. American Journal of Psychiatry, 158(5), 735–741. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.158.5.735

Kernberg, O. (2009). The concept of the death drive: A clinical perspective. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 90(5), 1009–1023. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-8315.2009.00187.x

Kirsch, M., Dimitrijevic, A., & Buchholz, M. B. (2022). “Death drive” scientifically reconsidered: Not a drive but a collection of trauma-induced auto-addictive diseases. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.941328

Klonsky, E. D., May, A. M., & Saffer, B. Y. (2016). Suicide, Suicide Attempts, and Suicidal Ideation. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 12(1), 307–330. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-021815-093204

LeGris, J., & van Reekum, R. (2006). The Neuropsychological Correlates of Borderline Personality Disorder and Suicidal Behaviour. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 51(3), 131–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/070674370605100303

Ling, Z., Qing, T., & Chunming, X. (2024). Epigenetic insight into the suicidal biomarker of depression with suicide Ideation: A narrative review. Neuroscience, 560, 48–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroscience.2024.09.029

Mann, J. J., & Rizk, M. M. (2020). A Brain-Centric Model of Suicidal Behavior. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 177(10), 902–916. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2020.20081224

Orsolini, L., Latini, R., Pompili, M., Serafini, G., Volpe, U., Vellante, F., Fornaro, M., Valchera, A., Tomasetti, C., Fraticelli, S., Alessandrini, M., La Rovere, R., Trotta, S., Martinotti, G., Di Giannantonio, M., & De Berardis, D. (2020). Understanding the Complex of Suicide in Depression: from Research to Clinics. Psychiatry Investigation, 17(3). https://doi.org/10.30773/pi.2019.0171

PMC, E. (2020). Europe PMC. Europepmc.org. https://europepmc.org/article/nbk/nbk565877

Whiteley, C. (2023). Suicide Psychology. Cgd Publishing. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=fWOjEAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT38&dq=suicide+and+neuropsychology&ots=xZiwF05erl&sig=-52ytsnjyg3-qG9sDZxLgPzYNAE#v=onepage&q&f=false

🧠 Trigger Warning: This episode contains open and honest discussions around suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, trauma, and mental illness. Listener discretion is advised.

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