Jimbo the shit bag loser pile of shit has bribed another broke ass homeless person to pretend to be my friend... When I provided him with a new warm blanket, resources and offered food and alcohol how does he return the goodwill? Well, the first three minutes will clue you in? I wonder if he will enjoy prison as much as Jimbo and the Very Ruptured and Torn Assholes? I think it's best to basically never engage with any human again. Can't trust the devious Motherfuckers? Speaking of Motherfuckers, (this is a strange thought BTW), can you tell a person that was delivered the traditional way from their biological mother that they indeed did fuck her in a way. Physically, he fucked her over by destroying her lady parts, so they probably resemble The Jizz Stain's Cured Meat Curtains that couldn't cure shit. In fact, all those meat curtains do is give you lots of regret and, in my case, night terrors. I have this recurring dream where I am rock climbing and spelunking and I keep getting swallowed alive by The Jizz Stain's grossly oversized and just gross vagina. I wake up often screaming, crying, out of breath and covered in some sort of slippery substance and I have no idea what just happened other than the clear and obvious fact that I was just a victim of a weird Jizz Stain meets Freddy Kruger combo that even has Stephen King saying WTF? But the kicker is Freddy is just as terrified as I am and we form this odd couple alliance and embark on trying to not get eaten alive by the Jizz Stain's gross vagina. As it turns out, Freddy is a pretty chill guy. His face is a but fucked up due to a fire he sustained as a result of a faulty smoke detector. He isn't trying to kill the kids he just wants to warn them to not fall asleep without ensuring the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are working properly. He just doesn't have the best approach dialed in. He asked if I would help him with a PSA commercial regarding Christmas Tree fires so that should be coming out soon for the holiday season. Freddy also has a go fund me page to get the plastic surgery to repair the damage from the fire and the subsequent damage he sustained asa result of seeking plastic surgery in Tijuana because his employer refused to pay out the settlement he was entitled to due to his workman's compensation claim because the fire occured at school where he was the lovable and cheerful cafeteria chef. The moral here is be careful who you piss off. You never know who someone can turn in to. Since Freddy and I are friends now he keeps asking me to go play golf and go to the batting cages. I keep postponing because I have no fucking idea how he can hold a bat or a good club with God dam Edward Scissors hands. I dony want to be rude but come on. Plus he always wears the same fucking outfit with the striped shirt and the creepy hat. I tried to tell him he needs a new look but he said he gets all his clothes for free at Salvation Army and that's all they have. I call bullshit on that. Freddy, I will go with you next time, and make sure you get some decent none horror film related clothing. Oh and did Marty call you regarding speaking at next week's AA meeting. Just send him and email ok... Can you type with those fucking things... Nevermind I will talk to Marty.