Never Caught Up

This week, Jules gives us the lowdown on Sumo + Sushi, and as you would imagine, there was a lot of sumo-ing and sushi-ing going on. Meanwhile, JLee is deep in nesting mode, pressure-washing everything in sight and discovering that pregnancy gives you carpa tunnel, girl...or however you say it.

Then we head on over to Bravo-land, where the Salt Lake City girls continue to take San Francisco by storm. From antique vibrators and Chinatown (aka Tokyo) dumpling competitions, to Lisa Barlow applying lip liner with one hand and waving around a Bronwyn-looking dildo with another.

Over on Ultimate Girls Trip, the Bluestone Manor finale delivered a much too quick sprinter van apology from Luann, Wendy's on the road (because Lisa is a branding genius), Vicki begging to go to bed, a Gilded Age theme party nobody understood, and major blowups from the RHORI girls. Oh and Andy Cohen shows up, too.

Next we head to Moskito Island with the current RHONY cast, where Erin continues to be the devil, Jessel doesn't know what an oven looks like (or Carole's name), and the island doesn't actually belong to anyone you think it does. Will Erin get kicked off the island? A girl and a gay can dream!

Then we rewind to OG RHONY Season 6, where Ramona is throwing wine glasses, Sonja is harassing boat captains, and Aviva's father is the most depraved man on reality television; which is really saying something.

Plus, JLee has a bone to pick with AMC for canceling Talamasca: The Secret Order after one season and leaving her with roughly 18 cliffhangers and zero closure. But the question remains: what the hell is a Talamasca?

And finally, fall TV is back — Potomac premieres, Love Is Blind returns, and the Dick Wolf universe is firing on all cylinders. We are Never Caught Up, but we are doing our best!

This week, we're celebrating first pedicures and questionable party guests. Naturally, we also find time to discuss the rising cost of getting your nails done, Gen Z vocabulary, and why Medieval Times might not be the ideal place to eat dinner.

Then we're diving into the Bravo universe, where the new RHONY is giving us very little, but the OG ladies are giving us everything. From Scary Island to Morocco, we're revisiting Ramona's fake tears, Alex's Herman Munster shoes, and the absolute chaos of early Housewives. On Ultimate Girls Trip, the ladies are still fighting, Luann is still being Luann, and a Halloween party leaves everyone wondering where the actual party is. Meanwhile, Salt Lake City heads to San Francisco, where nobody can communicate, Whitney can't keep her mouth shut, and Bronwyn just needs a cigarette.

Plus, we're talking spooky season, Love Is Blind, Interview with the Vampire, and the return of Avatar. Not the blue people, the other one. Please keep up.

This week, technical difficulties cannot stop us because there is simply too much Bravo to discuss.

We finish the Next Gen NYC reunion, where Andy is exhausted by these children, Georgia holds her own, Liam still needs a job instead of another hobby, and Ariana’s supposedly devastating confession turns out to be… not that devastating. Somehow, this leads to an unexpected discovery about armpits that changes the trajectory of the entire episode.

Then it’s back to Salt Lake City, where we meet a new Housewife who owns a mountainside and loves her husband’s nipples, Meredith is staring people down, and the ladies attempt après-ski with varying levels of success.

Over on Ultimate Girls Trip, everyone’s nipples are also out, Luann refuses to stop singing, Lisa Barlow refuses to stop name-dropping, and the ladies finally leave Miami for New York.

Plus, haunted funeral homes, Scream Queens, accents nobody asked for, and enough side quests to get us from pits to nips in record time.

This week, we’re back to our roots with more Bravo than we know what to do with. We start with the Next Gen NYC reunion, where Brooks finally finds his voice, Charlie continues to test our patience, Georgia keeps climbing the ranks, and Ava’s cheeky little music festival kiss with Kyle Cooke becomes a much bigger conversation than it probably needed to be.

Then it’s off to Miami for Ultimate Girls Trip, where Luann is fully committed to being a diva, Vicki is still Vicki, and Teresa somehow finds herself playing peacekeeper. We also dive into the new season of RHONY, where Erin immediately reminds us exactly why she gets under our skin and Jessel remains mother.

Finally, Salt Lake City is back with a premiere that has us laughing, crying, reconsidering everything we’ve ever said about Meredith Marks, and learning that apparently alcohol can be used as a “clutch.”

Plus, a Bed Bath & Beyond customer service nightmare, spooky season viewing, The Traitors casting, Law Roach, Jo Koy, and plenty of opinions that are completely fictional, totally made up, and definitely alleged.

Everything we’ve said is alleged. We’re not real. We’re AI people.

Spooky season is here, even if the weather refuses to cooperate. This week, we’re back in Atlanta for Ultimate Girls Trip, where nobody understands what an alter ego is, Vicki wants to go home, and NeNe reminds everyone who the queen of Atlanta really is.

Then we wrap up Next Gen NYC with Liam getting a much-needed reality check, Ava kissing Shai, Emira being flawless even while sick, and JLee formally reconsidering everything Mama Joyce ever said about Todd.

Plus, Project Runway, the new Potomac trailer, our review of Death of a Pastor’s Wife, and a very deep dive into Obsession that leaves us with a lot of questions about love, control, obsession, dead cats, and duct-taped doors.

And whenever we get too far off track, there’s only one thing left to do: Get Back to Paddington!

This week, we welcome our very first guest, Ashley, and immediately put her to work catching up on everything from Dancing With the Stars casting to the latest Bravoverse chaos.

We wrap up The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, where Shamea’s receipts continue to fall flat, Porsha remains the standard, and K. Michelle easily earns her spot as a new favorite. Then it’s time for the Love Island reunion, where we debate who actually came out on top, question several relationship choices, defend our favorites, and discover that apparently everyone is “pouring into” everyone else.

On Ultimate Girls Trip, Atlanta delivers one of the best episodes yet. Vicki wants everyone to play the quiet game, Luann is fully committed to being the Countess, and Teresa gives us the phrase we didn’t know we needed: “a fresh of breath air.”

Plus, Next Gen NYC takes us to the slopes, Emira deserves better than Charlie, we contemplate après-ski without the skiing, and somehow still find time for spooky season, TV recommendations, and plenty of side conversations along the way.

We’re back from vacation, refreshed, slightly tanner, and somehow still nowhere close to being caught up. This week, we recap our respective beach getaways, debate baby names, revisit some questionable college drinking choices, and naturally find our way back to the Bravo universe.

On Ultimate Girls Trip, Porsha and Gizelle are the messy duo we didn’t know we needed, Luann is giving full Countess energy, Vicki would rather be at her insurance office, and the Housewives callbacks just keep getting better. Then we head to Next Gen NYC, where Ariana and Liam’s relationship goes from cute to complicated very quickly. We have just one piece of advice for Liam: if you’re upstairs listening to everyone else have fun, get up, diva. Go downstairs.

Plus, we talk spooky season, Appalachian cryptids, the Mothman’s surprisingly famous assets, and whatever else we manage to get distracted by along the way.

This week, we're caught up on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 16, from Kenya's abrupt exit and the new Atlanta feeling a little too new, to Porsha's return, Phaedra stepping back onto the scene, Shamea fighting for her peach, and a mysterious man named Marcus showing up to create a mess nobody asked for.

Then it's back to Ultimate Girls Trip, where Porsha continues to prove why she's one of our all-time favorites, Vicki is overstimulating everyone, Teresa is just being Teresa, and the infamous ugly leather pants make their triumphant return.

Plus, a Pretty Little Liars update, feather-in-the-hair nostalgia, Law Roach and Ziwe, TV recommendations, and the realization that a 57-minute premiere is simply too much to ask of us.

This episode, we're catching up on heat waves, vacation plans, engagement stories, and Panera's questionable decision to hollow out a baguette, fill it with salad, and call it a "stuffer." Naturally, we have thoughts.

Then it's back to Atlanta for RHOA Season 15, where we're talking Drew and Ralph's never-ending divorce, Marlo finally getting her peach, Kenya serving a completely blank subpoena, and the secondhand embarrassment of Drew singing directly to Ralph at the reunion.

Over on Next Gen NYC, we're at BravoCon, pausing to appreciate Joe Gorga, questioning Gia's boyfriend, and once again trying to figure out exactly what Charlie's deal is.

Then we take our first trip into Ultimate Girls Trip, where Vicki demands attention, Teresa revisits an iconic moment, Gizelle brings the shade, and Porsha reminds us exactly why she's one of our favorites.

Plus, Pretty Little Liars, TLC nostalgia, our growing reading corner, and everything else we're still trying to catch up on.

This episode, we're catching up on farmer's market chaos, questionable food textures, everything you're apparently not allowed to eat while pregnant, and why pumpkin spice has no business showing up in August. Then a Pretty Little Liars rewatch sends us down a rabbit hole of missing parents, wildly inappropriate relationships, and which liar we'd actually be.

Then it's back to Atlanta, and we've finally arrived at BOLO. We're breaking down The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 13, including Cynthia's bachelorette party, Bolo's fake Chanel, Kenya investigating a night that absolutely did not concern her, Tanya blowing up her own spot, and Porsha proving once again why she's a favorite. Because when it comes to what happened after that bachelorette party, sometimes it's the less you know, you know.

Over on Next Gen NYC, we're talking BravoCon prep, Shai actually working while Brooks examines a two-centimeter zipper, Georgia's Jake from State Farm obsession, and why eating full meals in bed should be illegal.

Plus, The Ultimatum, House of Stassi, The Devil Wears Prada 2, airplane etiquette, book recommendations, and everything else we're still trying to catch up on.

Some things are better left at the bachelorette party. Stay silent, stay silent.