Welcome back to The Human Petri Dish. In this episode, Andrew Boyton is joined once again by relationship coach Mila Smith to explore what new beginnings really mean in dating and relationships. Moving beyond “New Year, New You” clichés, they dig into how to date with clarity, courage, and self-awareness, without dragging old patterns into new connections.

Episode Summary

Andrew and Mila revisit themes of endings, healing, and emotional baggage, and bring them firmly into the world of modern dating. The conversation focuses on the crucial difference between chemistry and compatibility, and why so many promising connections fail when core values are left unspoken.

Drawing on research and clinical experience, Mila challenges the popular advice to “keep first dates light,” arguing instead for early, honest conversations about fundamental life values such as monogamy, commitment, family, money, religion, politics, and pace. These, she explains, are among the strongest predictors of long-term relationship success.

They explore dating apps, expectations around exclusivity, and when (and how) to talk about staying on or coming off the apps. The episode also tackles sexual intimacy, attachment, hormones, and why some people bond quickly after sex, across all genders, while others need a slower, more deliberate pace.

A key takeaway:

Authenticity narrows the pool, but saves heartache. Being clear about who you are, what you want, and what you can offer is not “too much”, it’s essential. At the same time, Mila cautions against sharing deep trauma too early, emphasising that vulnerability should follow trust, not replace it.

This is a grounded, compassionate conversation about dating bravely, knowing yourself, and choosing compatibility over chemistry alone.

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