--GRIM NEWS FOR THE FUTURE OF OPIATES IN AMERICA

--AMERICANS TOO DUMB TO QUIT SMART TVs

--FACEBOOK'S APP REFUSES TO DIE

--IT'S THE WOOD THAT MAKES IT GOOD

--FINE TIMING ON THIS SCRATCH OFF BUY

--JAKE THE GOLDEN WILL BE OK

--PINOT AND PRINGLES IN THE PARKING LOT: BREAKFAST OF CHAMPS