Crypto is the scam of the millennium: a worthless, energy-guzzling vaporware Ponzi dressed up as revolution, where finance bros snort lines and laugh while retail suckers YOLO life savings into exit liquidity for whales who rug-pull at peak hype, leaving bagholders with diamond hands that just mean they’re the last idiot standing in a burning digital dumpster fire—consuming more power than entire countries to enable dark-web drugs, ransomware, and endless “hyper-deflationary AI vibe oracle” memecoin grifts that evaporate overnight, costing billions in 2025 alone, all while the planet melts so Chad can flex his Lambo dreams on Twitter before ghosting to a tax haven, proving that if the future of money requires a PhD to avoid getting phished by a Discord kitten, maybe the old fiat system with actual rules wasn’t so bad after all.

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