In these uncertain times, the last thing we need is some do-gooder newsletter telling us how to feel or what to do. That’s why we’re aiming all our firepower at the Enneathought Bot who won’t leave us the bleep alone for just one bleeping day!!

If you’re not familiar with the Enneathought, imagine getting a fortune cookie fortune sent straight to your email inbox every day, only it knew you well enough to make you feel like crap, and also doesn't read the room AT ALL. 

With the help of Fun Sexy Bible Time’s Casey Haas (an Enneagram 5!), we bring some of the worst Enneathoughts to the table and tear them to shreds.