No One Told Me

Marriage isn't easy for anyone. You're taking two people who maybe knew about 70% of each other, committing them for life + telling them - go figure out the other 30% as you go. I'll be the first to say - 5% of the 30% you don't know is discovered when you clean the bathroom for the first time after moving in together. Too much? That feels like maybe too much. But, like always, I went and found someone far ahead of me to help me navigate the really tough parts that we won't always see coming. From communication, to new rhythms, to navigating conflict and of course the complete reset that happens once kids enter the mix. Marriage is hard - but it doesn't have to stay hard. Push play to hear from a couple whose marriage shaped me just by proximity, and now through this conversation.

Why does this sometimes feel controversial? I want to raise my daughter in a world where these two words – women + leadership – doesn’t cause awe…but is the norm. I want her ceiling to be set only by her own personal, healthy boundaries. I want women & leadership to be less about fighting her way to the top and more about confidently walking into rooms based on her God-given gifting, talent and specific call on her life. I hope there are people leading her workplaces that set aside assumed narratives and instead take the time to know her and position her to grow. If this is what I want for her…I want to be a part of building it. Women like Kadi Cole, today’s podcast guest, are paving the way by walking into companies, organizations and churches with simple insights and strategies on how to create space for women to grow consistently. Today’s episode, Kadi talks about gender differences in leadership styles/approaches, the role of emotions in decision making, finding your leadership voice and tons more. This is a conversation always worth having.

Honestly, there's not catchy title here. Just the cold hard facts that I'm reminded of almost daily. My mom always said your kids have a way of making a liar out of you...and she's right. I was the perfect parent before I had kids and now I'm trying to calculate if the protein in the ice cream I promised them for cleaning up counts toward their daily intake.

Here's what I know - this is one area of life you *have to* find people ahead of you. Kristin Geren is one of those people for me. I love her kids and want to know literally everything she did to make them so great. So, I handed her a mic and asked all the things I need to know because parenting takes an overly populated village/metropolis. Push play to add us to your village - we all need each other.

The current generation is the first to have their everyday influenced by people who are paid to...influence. The generation stepping into the workforce has a new category to consider and, yeah, I'm buying the gua sha because someone on TikTok told me it would give me a sharper jawline.

But in this world of influencers - how often are we paying attention to what's going in and how it impacts what's going out? How often are we considering our own personal influence? Are we hiding behind the excuse that because we don't carry a certain number of follows, likes, shares that our influence isn't real and growing?

And, most importantly, how are we wielding the influence? Because whether or not you agree - you carry influence. (I honestly can't believe how many times I just used the word influence.) Push play and share with your people who want to influence our world intentionally and actively instead of passively.

Women today are a part of a pivotal generation. I mean, no pressure or anything. But we're seeing - and participating - in a generation pushing up against the tension of career and family without choosing one or the other. Both...we can have both. This is a generation of women choosing to dream and change course - even if it doesn't always makes sense. A generation of women raising women to know and believe that the opinions of others shouldn't always dictate her personal choices.

This conversation with author, Kimberly Stuart, brought so much validation and let's be honest - empowerment - to the art of juggling career progression and motherhood. Her significant insights into pursuing professional dreams alongside personal commitments - chef's kiss. Kimberly takes a word that usually gives me hives - "patience" - and reconstructs it to be an asset rather than a punishment in pivotal seasons of life. We talk about dealing with other people’s opinions, the need to nurture passions and the importance of engaging your whole family in your dreams and pursuits. And I'm also outed for my complete lack of understanding of general geographical information. It is what it is.

New year, new you. Meh. If you like the vibe of fresh starts, resets new opportunities - but struggle to adjust mentally, emotionally and physically to what all that newness seems to require...go ahead and push play.

Whether it's a new major, new job, new relationship, new role (that "mom" title will sendddd you) - whatever shifts usually comes with what the 90's called an identity-crisis. A whole "who am I and what the heck am I doing" mentality. The good news: It's normal. The bad news: It's real uncomfortable. My friend Taylor, who's navigated a lot of change in the past decade, grabs the mic to share what worked - and didn't - in these twists you don't always see coming.

I won't lie - I was on one when this was recorded. You can probably tell by the - forcefulness - of the reading...but I've had so many conversations lately with women who are riding a merry-go-round of the same sights and wondering why nothing changes.

If you feel restless, there's actually one fairly common reason why. We'll talk about it in today's episode, along with how to get off the merry-go-round of approval and the practical things I do to make sure I'm functioning fully (or, like, mostly) in the gifting I'm most confident in.

In conclusion, I'm not yelling at you in this episode. Just, more so, strongly advising with an elevated voice.

We've all been there. Seriously, all of us. We find something that stirs us up, makes us want to run in a specific direction - but then we start pumping the brakes as we think about what someone else might say/think/do in response to our decisions. Or maybe someone makes a comment in passing that shakes every ounce of confidence we worked so hard to build.

One of NOTM's favorite guests, Kaley Hollingsworth, is back again to kick off a new season and a new year with a conversation about endurance, obedience in spite of doubt and navigating fear in the face of forward motion. This is for the ones who have an idea, dream or stirring toward doing something new or outside of your norm & the ones who need to know to keep going right where they are...even if it feels mundane.

Okay, wait. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you're going to be real confused so just scroll up a bit and push play on that before you push play here. Otherwise, we're diving right back in to the conversation around where your confidence is and what happens when you start putting your confidence and identity anywhere but where it belongs. (Spoiler: Burn out. That's what happens.) We're continuing our conversation with Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, and you're really lucky because you'll even get to hear a part we meant to edit out, but it will live forever in episode 179. We're all just doing our best out here, guys.

This right here...this is a conversation I wish I'd had sooner. Building confidence in any area of life is hard, but what if it was less about confidence in one area and more about being a confident person? Because if all we are is tied up in what we can or cannot do - our confidence is built on some pretty rickety foundations. Today's episode with my friend Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, covers questions like:

-What skills or mindsets do you wish you could go back and learn sooner?

-How do you know to pump the brakes and when to push for more?

-When do you keep at something and when do you know it's time to let it go?

And this is JUST PART ONE! This conversation was so good that we talked for over an hour and we all know ya'll aren't going to catch allllll the good stuff if you have to listen that long. So push play on part one and look forward to part two next week!