and the sun is setting.
There are no streetlights
here. The earth is dark
black despite white
snow all around.
Light didn’t make it
here, just quit somewhere
in the heavens.
High, high up,
in the corner of
the atmosphere
is perpetual dawn,
a subtle blue
on the ceiling of
this city’s firmament.
The light is
so far gone
my own eye-lid
is hidden to me,
yet perpetual dawn
glows on, some
atmospheric mirage
in the vast Canadian distance.
This is one scene from
many on the road.
The employer buys you onto a plane,
then a connection, a rental, a room,
an entire week of travel,
spat out wherever you wind up.
Modern conveniences
like internet and mobile computing
have made it possible to travel back,
virtually,
instantly,
from wherever you are.
Except virtual meetings
don’t connect from the fuselage.
Spreadsheets
must be stowed through security.
Messages
do not disturb when the client has paid their tens of thousands to be with you, right then, at this very time.
At that time,
only one thought survives:
“I am here.”
Where I am not,
I am not.
The nomad learns,
the nomad is taught,
the nomad realizes
the impossibility and folly of
maintaining what is left behind.
Everyone thinks they can take it with them,
especially those who never leave,
until they learn,
through leaving,
they cannot.
They leave
and what they leave
is dead to them,
and to them
they are dead to what they leave.
The nomad knows no familiarities,
accounts no possessions,
grieves no relationship,
expects no tomorrow,
remembers no yesterday.
They are free,
totally owned
by their present experience,
dutiful only
to the now
with no expectancy of
its end or beginning.
There is no shelf to rest upon,
no destination to arrive upon,
just an ever-ending current of the sea.
It is only upon
a nomad’s return
that they realize how deceptive settler life can be,
that we take our responsibilities so seriously,
accounting for the home,
for the family,
the business,
the governance,
the marketplace,
the church,
and the many calendar commitments politely sequencing time.
We assume ruin if
we don’t prescribe perfectly
to all the tasks,
rules, and
maintenance.
But the nomad learns
surrendering duty
is duty.
It’s 4:15 (this time,
in the morning),
and I woke up this morning
knowing I only had time to
pack my bags and
make my flight,
moving through security
knowing I only had time to
move through security,
sitting on the plane
knowing I only had time to
sit on the plane,
arriving home,
knowing I only had time to
arrive home,
leaving again,
knowing I only had time to
leave ... and having no time
I was free of it.
Unable to keep it,
I let go.
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