Show Notes:

I am joined again today by an amazing guest who I am thrilled to get to explore the topic of "being normal" with our kiddos alongside. Child and Family Therapist, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Heather Toews is with me today. Heather has worked as a social worker doing child protection work, experienced her own burnout, transitioned to supporting adoptive families, and then transitioned to counselling with Child & Youth Mental Health as well as in private practice. Heather works from an attachment focus and has bravely ventured into creating a course to support parents who are striving to care for a child who has experienced trauma. I would invite you to check out the Trauma Attuned Parent Program if you, someone you know, or populations you work with, are caring for a child impacted by traumatic lived experiences. Her course is phenomenal and has been used by group homes for staff training as well as many families working to develop the skills to be therapeutic intervenors in the lives of their children. She has created two versions of this program, a standard version as well as a specialized version tailored to the unique needs of Foster & Adoptive families. Her work is beautiful and passion-filled and I am so grateful to know her. 

Today Heath and I are talking about the challenges facing First Responders & Front Line Workers in "being normal" in their relationships with their kiddos. We highlight the challenges in coming down of the day, the tendencies to be revved up or numbed out, the impacts to our kids and our relationships with our kids over time, and tools to try to get this in check so we can develop healthful, attached and attuned relationships with our mini-me's. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Common challenges faced by front line parents
• What happens when hyper-vigilance leads our parenting choices
• The tendency to numb and the complications to "present parenting" 
• Finding value in the mundane (this is where the magic is - we promise!!)
• The good, bad and ugly of how our work impacts our families
• The need to focus on small windows of connection
• Considerations around child-led and parent-led play

Check out Heather's Trauma Attuned Parent Program here. I honestly can't say enough about this program. I find myself recommending it as a fantastic adjunct to therapy to support parents in being able to be real change-makers and meaningful support providers to their kids while working through the process and healing alongside their child. Every play therapist who knows me has heard me preach about this program, because it equips parents to not just "try" or "do the best they can" to help their kids, but to actually show up in evidence-based therapeutic ways to intervene meaningfully, and I hope you will go check it out!

Check out my previous episode with Heather (S1E29 - "Front Line Families & Parenting") here, where we talk about creating rituals of disconnection and some other really practical tools to work at being more present at home and with our kids.

Episode Challenge:

What are some parent-led play ideas that would fit for you with your kiddo(s)? If you're kids are older, what are conversation topics or activities you can engage in together? Can you commit to working at being present for 10-30 minutes alongside them doing this activity a couple of times each week?

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide. 

Additional Resources:

Check out Heather's Trauma Attuned Parent Program here. If you are a parent of a child who has been impacted by trauma, I would highly recommend this. Also, if you work with populations where this resource might be of value, I would invite you to research it (feel free to follow up and ask questions) and recommend it to those you serve. Touch base with me at [email protected] and I can put you in touch with Heather.

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