After a cat murders his owner, a perpetually squealing Diane Keaton travels to a remote town to handle her brother's affairs while coping with violent withdrawals from nicotine. This is seriously the plot of "Northern Lights," the first ever Disney Channel Original Movie. As you may know from our first minisode, this movie is absurdly hard to find and as we found out, that is for good reason. Along with guests Lorraine Longhi and Leslie Standridge, we made sure to ask the important questions: who is winning the battle for Diane Keaton's soul? Who would she be if she were a Muppet? Are you really allowed to say "titty" on the Disney Channel? Is Geraldo Rivera the Unabomber? All that and more on this definitive redux episode of Zetus Lapodcast. Please rate, review and subscribe on  and ! If your review makes me laugh, you might be asked to be a guest on a future episode. Follow Lorraine on Twitter , Leslie , Zach  and the show .

Northern Lights

The complete oral history of Disney Channel Original Movies (DCOMs) from A to Zenon! Hosted weekly by Zach Heltzel.

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Join Zach and his new friend Kate, host of the podcast Defrauded, as they go deep down the interdimensional wormhole in the ocean that seems to exist to connect the real world to a cosmic prison trapping a bunch of hunky teens in a 1960s beach movie. You can find DEFRAUDED here: https://player.fm/series/defrauded

Teen Beach 2

Horror writer and filmmaker Adrian Martel joins us to talk DESCENDANTS 2, letting Beto O'Rourke bust our windpipes, and the blanket I got from my current / his old employer.

Descendants 2

We are joined by a pair of DCOM superfans this week who found my personal email address and used it to guilt trip me into bringing the podcast back. At two points, my phone goes off and you can faintly hear Carly Rae Jepsen scream "Oh yeah! A sword!"

Bad Hair Day

After a nine-month hiatus so Zach could pursue his dream of s-ing his own D and dying, Zetus Lapodcast is back with a brand new episode! We are joined this week by Sam Herbst, host of THE KIDMANIFESTO, to talk about "Freaky Friday," the musical re-remake of the Jodie Foster/Gaby Hoffmann/Lindsay Lohan movies of the same name. This movie has everything! In true DCOM fashion, this movie doesn't shy away from musical numbers about uptight housewives wanting to have intercourse with teenage boys. The plot is essentially The Purge meets The Babadook. There is a direct reference to Brokeback Mountain.

Freaky Friday

We were almost joined by #nofilter host Zack Peter this week. In fact, we spent over an hour talking with him about The Grove, Ren Stevens's life as a wife and mother, the geographic eccentricities of Los Angeles, and a whole lot more! However, the recording software went haywire and almost the entire episode was lost, so instead of delaying a week and re-recording, I decided to improvise because I'm too emotionally fraught right now to even spend another moment thinking about this lousy "Stuck in the Suburbs" knockoff.

Northern Lights

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