What's the value?

"Not being too attached to any values" - Tara Boyce


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"Humans are not a 'thing', we are a process." This quote, which is representative of this conversation with Tara, was really fascinating for me. On the one hand Tara very much sees the world the way I do. She is intellectually curious, she is constantly searching for answers and ways to grow, she is very cautious about becoming too dogmatic, she is often in her own head spinning out thinking about philosophical topics, etc. But on the other hand she has to come to a very different approach in life. Unlike me, who has continued to lean into the search for answers because I believe it is the only way, she has decided to keep searching but not actually care at all about finding the answers.

We talked about it on the show, but to me that approach almost seems insane. Why would you ever look for something if you don't actually care about finding it? Tara was super insightful though in explaining how this approach works for her. She used the analogy that she is "intellectually dating" with different philosophical approaches to life. She recognizes life is far too complex to ever land on one answer, but she still does see value in being out there playing the field to try to glean insights from the various thinkers of the past. Then she uses those insights in a very fluid and agile way to move through life and apply the right insight at the right time (or at least she is trying to).

As a bit of a background, Tara was someone who has had the gift (or maybe curse) of being extremely self aware from a young age. That resulted in her having a hostile relationship with her own mind and ultimately a hostile relationship with life. Eventually that led to some pretty severe alcoholism, which she battled for over 15 years. In many ways she used alcoholism as her tool to detach from the struggles of searching for answers in life. Now she has found her value of "not being too attached to any one value" as a much healthier tool to utilize. This was a super insightful conversation and I really appreciate Tara for being so thoughtful, open, and reflective.

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What's the value?By Terry McMullen

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