Phillip Berry | Orient Yourself

Not My Problem


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“That’s not my problem.” Though I wasn’t exactly sure why, I felt the sting of the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. After all, it wasn’t my fault. I had done nothing to cause it, had fulfilled all duties for my part, and in fact was the person who would be unjustly affected by it. Wait a minute, I guess it was my problem. I realized, what I was really saying was “I don’t care” as I was thinking, “I don’t have time for this.”

We’re busy people. Lots and lots of stuff on our plates. Watching my grandson’s basketball game yesterday, I was reminded of the “raising years.” Those years when we were consumed with the things of children: events, school, sports, friends, supplies, clothes, presents, parties, boo-boos. Our days were so full that we couldn’t imagine anything outside of the urgencies associated with our kids. I heard the young parents cheering their young children and saw the wheel of time turning as a new generation assumed the mantle of busyness we passed along.

Busyness is a great cover for many things. Urgency is the ultimate justifier for almost anything. An after dinner conversation last night turned to 2020 and the craziness of COVID. We all shook our heads at how quickly we gave up so many freedoms to the urgency of fear. Justified or unjustified, basic survival instinct took us to the brink incredibly rapidly. Of course, the urgency of COVID made our busyness disappear even faster than it did so many basic things we took for granted. Things slowed down and priorities got really, really clear.

A strange effect of busyness is that it removes our ability to absorb. We reach a point where we just can’t. Can’t hear, can’t see, can’t deal, with anything else. We just can’t. Our plate is full, our mind is full, our hands our full…there just isn’t any more room for anything. Survival-mode makes decisions and non-decisions easy. Well, at least in the fashion that it seemingly limits our alternatives. We do what must be done or don’t do what we simply can’t.

I like to talk about “following the signs” as a way to navigate our world in the context of purpose and direction. What are the signals indicating proper direction? Do you see them? Can you hear them? Sometimes we get a “burning bush” moment, but most often the signs are more like whispers. They can be hard to detect when we’re consumed. Busyness makes signs hard to see and we often end up on the limited access highway – fewer on or off ramps.

Though “burning bush” moments may be rare, we are quite likely to get “Pontius Pilate” moments. Pilate is infamous for washing his hands of responsibility for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Our plates are full and the signs are hard to see as the billboards and bullhorns of necessity drive us along. When they do appear, we often shrug and wash our hands. I can’t. I don’t have time. I’m buried. Not my problem.

Being consumed with necessities is an incredibly liberating place to live. Buried in our own busyness, we are free to wash our hands of the things we simply don’t have time or capacity for. But busyness isn’t the only thing that shackles us to the liberating shrug. We do the same thing with anything that seems scarce in our lives. If time is short, we hoard it. If money is short, we don’t share it. If patience is short, we hold it back. If love is short, we don’t give it.

I was greeted this morning by Luke 6:38: “For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.” From there, my mind went to the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When we are pressed, feel that we have nothing else, or stressed by the many things, we tend to punt: charity, mercy, attention, love. It becomes really easy to wash our hands.

We can’t always show up in the way we’d like. We don’t always have the capacity to give what is needed, desired, or our even our best. It is often not our problem and we are completely justified in washing our hands of it – at least by the standards of the world around us.

I suppose it really isn’t my problem. Perhaps that’s exactly where I should be showing up.

I sure hope someone will show up for me the next time I have a problem that isn’t theirs.

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Phillip Berry | Orient YourselfBy Phillip Berry | Orient Yourself

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