Ever packed up your festival tent amidst the cider-spattered carnage, knuckles grazed, silently cursing the cheerful soul who left theirs standing? Join me for an investigation into Britain’s most baffling festival phenomenon: the intentionally abandoned tent. Could this act of synthetic betrayal be more than mere laziness? I propose adding it to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. From glib charm to a chilling lack of remorse, I dissect the neon evidence left flapping in the Glastonbury wind. Is that pristine dome beside the bins not just litter... but a tiny nylon crime scene? Prepare for a journey into the psyche of the tent abandoner.

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