A New York Times reporter just spent eighteen months using AI to analyze thousands of emails and claims Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto is Adam Back—a British cryptographer sitting on potentially seventy-eight billion dollars who keeps saying "not me" while sharing sixty-seven of Satoshi's exact hyphenation mistakes and being the only person cited in the original Bitcoin white paper. The evidence is wild but circumstantial: Back allegedly emailed himself to create distance from the Satoshi identity, maybe slipped up during a confrontation in El Salvador, and his invention Hashcash literally became a building block of cryptocurrency. But here's the thing—Satoshi's 1.1 million Bitcoin have sat untouched for fifteen years, and anyone with access to those wallets could prove their identity instantly with a cryptographic signature, yet nobody has.