A long time ago, in a parish far, far away . . . It is a period of church war. Ortho-Nerds, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the Nominal Ecclesiarch. During the struggle, Ortho-Nerd spies managed to steal secret plans to the Ecclesiarch's ultimate weapon, the Death Pew . . . (Also in this episode, Fr Joseph says: geek, dork, loser, dweeb, tetragrammaton, gamer, and emo.)