October. Seventh

In short?

A place of study, reflection and expression.

Press play to hear what that might look like...

Let’s play never have I ever…never have I ever woken up one day and “randomly” felt super unfulfilled…dissociated from my environment, unexplainably moody…borderline bed rotting and felt like, what is life, what am I doing and what is the point of all of this? On this episode we unpack trauma responses and what it looks and feels like to be in a functional freeze.

How do you know you’re not a narcissist? Did you know narcissism has a spectrum and that some, if not all people have tendencies, whilst others demonstrate at least five of the “special me” traits and meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder? On this episode we unpack a real life story to see how we show up as narcissists with self-fulfilling interest, and explore the different moving parts of what narcissism is and what it looks like.

Why is it such a crime to label perspectives and responses to cheating as the emotional reactions they often are? This episode is not about condoning, justifying or encouraging cheating; we can all agree that to be decided and betrayed is wrong and painful. Now, to cut a long story short, are you unhappy and/or are you possessive? Can you work past it or is your ego too bruised? I wonder…Anyways, the focal point is to loosely consider if this new age obsession with the topic of cheating is rooted in fear and insecurity? Is it really about discipline and integrity or power and control? Also, do people understand that you’re not asking the right questions, being manipulated or deceived (which are fundamental components of cheating) you aren’t actually being cheated on? Oh…and why, why does no one talk about “attention” being the currency most women use to cheat? Is there a cheating spectrum or do men and woman basically cheat according to their their design? Also, I didn’t say on the episode but, chances are, if a person lacks integrity and discipline it shows in other parts of their expression and more often than not we either don’t look hard enough or ignore such flags because we don’t consider that we could be subject to experiencing the given red flags personally AND, whilst we are hear let’s stop pretending that when it comes to relationships most people don’t cut their nose to spite their face because they do. Another day we can talk and compare who has more heart us, or our seniors but today, if anything, “men with happy wives and stable homes are at luxury to cheat” seen as women get their egos stroked everyday with attention. A theory?

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You cannot force feed people into seeing things the way you do. Why do people spend so much time judging and dictating how everyone else should or shouldn’t be instead of literally concerning themselves with self refinement? Now whilst I’m all here for the, “I am brothers/sisters keeper” phenomenon I do not believe in unsolicited judgment on others to the point of voicing said opinion to said person without permission because we just don’t have that kind of authority on each other no matter how passionately we feel about how things should be.

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Sometimes awareness sucks! There’s nothing worse than knowing what you should do but not wanting to do it; actually there’s nothing worse than seeing your inner child show up and having to check yourself because you know that whilst your feelings may be valid, your reactions aren’t self serving. On this episode I reflect on how I showed up after being mishandled and how difficult it is to unlearn the parts of being nice that ultimately leave space for people to mishandle you without going to the polarised side of the expression where you are mean. Does anyone else feel disappointed when they know they have been mean but still can’t find it in themselves to apologise because they can’t look past how they were made to feel? Or better yet does anyone ever hate feeling like you are being “forced” to demonstrate a side of you that isn’t the nicest or kindest all in the name of, “we can all be rude and mad” etc? Hands up if like me you’d love to master the art of responding rather than reacting…

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Disputes are interesting because they allow you to see parts of peoples character that you either don’t usually see or overlook because you don’t experience in a capacity where you’re looking at said individual(s) objectively; but then, it’s also interesting how quickly we disassociate peoples nature during disputes to compliment narrative and/or versions of people we have in our heads. How you receive and experience people is a choice and we don’t realise that sometimes we are too busy living in our own subjectivity that we don’t give people grace to live in theirs meaning that we often attach or project our fears, insecurities and other parts of our shadow selves to peoples identity by way of assuming intention…which is always a great a recipe for disaster. On this episode I vent about a eye opening dispute I had and how it made me feel.

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Why is introversion often associated with misery? Sometimes we just need down time, for some people downtime is a season in the year, for others it’s a time in the day, a period of the week or month. Sometimes our bodies force us into recluse, other times our brains crash and we need to reboot and let’s not forget, the times our soul cries and we yearn for stillness so we can feel grounded and reconnect with self. The moral of the story is that sometimes we just want or need to be left alone…we should probably communicate that with each other better but that’s not the point of this episode.

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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pretty-girl-problems/message

The art of metacognition, individuation and intelligence;