Grab your sage bundles and your emotional-support breadsticks, because this week, chaos takes a colonial turn! 🏚️

Lauren and Courtney dive headfirst into The House of the Seven Gables — that haunted slice of Salem history dripping with Gothic guilt, family curses, and some good ol’ witch trial trauma. We unpack the dark history of the Turner family, the lingering energy of wrongful accusations, and how Nathaniel Hawthorne basically said, “Let’s trauma dump… but make it literary.”

Then things get weirder (obviously) as we introduce the Pukwudgies — tiny woodland tricksters who honestly just wanted to find love but got absolutely annihilated by the giant Maushop. Like, imagine writing a breakup song so tragic it becomes mythology. RIP to the short kings of the spirit world.

Meanwhile, Mischa is in her Sad Girl Era™ — in heat, diapered, and giving off major “don’t talk to me unless you have treats” energy. And Lauren? She’s battling for her life against humidity and existential dread while trying to style her newly shoulder-length hair for the Grimoire Academy Gothic Market in New Orleans. Spoiler: it’s giving “troll under the cobblestone bridge,” not “ethereal witch of the bayou.”

Join us for witchy chaos, tragic cryptids, and a lot of emotional unraveling (mostly over hair and diapers). Stay spooky. Stay saged. And please send dry shampoo and prayers. 💀✨