OH-Kay, But Seriously

Content Warning:

This episode contains brief mentions of rape and infertility, particularly in the context of fears surrounding endometriosis. While these topics are not discussed in detail, they do form part of the conversation. Please listen with care, especially if you’re sensitive to these subjects. Thank you for taking care of yourself.

Endometriosis often referred to as “endo”, is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it, leading to chronic pain, hormonal disruptions, and often a long journey to diagnosis. Though it’s common, it’s still widely misunderstood, especially when it comes to Black women’s health.

In this episode, I sit down with endometriosis warrior and advocate Bontle Moka to unpack our personal experiences with endo, PMDD, and PCOS. We explore:

- Bontle’s powerful advocacy work and why she’s raising her voice

- What our diagnosis journeys have looked like:

- The unique struggles Black women face when navigating the healthcare system

- How a spiritual encounter shaped Bontle’s sense of purpose

- The passion behind her mission to create greater awareness

- Common myths and misconceptions about endometriosis

- A short discussion about Bontle Moka as an author, including an overview of her books ‘Church’ and ‘On His Bathroom Floor’.

This is a conversation about pain, purpose, and pushing forward despite being overlooked. Whether you’ve been diagnosed or are just curious, we hope this episode brings you clarity, comfort, and community.

Reach out to Bontle Moka ♥

Instagram | @endometriosis.za

Personal Instagram : @bontle_

Bontle Moka’s Website | https://bontlemoabi.me

Written Work | https://bontlemoka.substack.com/?fbclid=PAQ0xDSwLwmA9leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABp37Dzx1qMhNypnmV2qdZsTlMnDf16gZ9AN3XP4dkHHcz837exVptgVdNjwy-_aem_NCRKbNgOVOip4Ijq3bopPg

Why do some of us feel so called to be somebody. To make a mark, to mean something beyond our own lifetimes, even when it feels exhausting to try? There is a quiet heaviness of being a dreamer. Especially when you’re someone (like myself) who is living with depression. Let’s talk about to carry deep ambition, to crave legacy, and to want more than just survival or “a normal life.” This isn’t just about success or money. It’s about purpose, longing, and the emotional weight of wanting to become more.

I’d like to explore the phenomenon of identity disruption or transitional identity. The psychological experience of shedding previous ways of being, while not yet having fully integrated or embodied a new self-concept. This isn’t a complete loss of identity, but rather a liminal phase: a space between who one was and who one is becoming. During this period, a person may remain anchored by core values, cultural background, and foundational beliefs, but simultaneously feel a sense of disorientation as familiar traits, roles, and responses begin to shift.

In this birthday episode, I’m sharing 12 lessons life has taught me so far—everything from the beauty of impermanence to the power of hope, friendship, and self-investment. These reflections are rooted in personal experience and wisdom passed down from loved ones. 

Join me as I explore how to embrace the present, nurture meaningful relationships, and live with intention, even when life feels uncertain. This episode is a reminder that we’re all on this journey together —learning, growing, and becoming who we’re meant to be.

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Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https:// www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?
igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw)

TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!
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Music By: RomanCiigar

IG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/
romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)

Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-
%0Acligar/1551446770

In this birthday episode, I’m sharing 12 lessons life has taught me so far—everything from the beauty of impermanence to the power of hope, friendship, and self-investment. These reflections are rooted in personal experience and wisdom passed down from loved ones.

Join me as I explore how to embrace the present, nurture meaningful relationships, and live with intention, even when life feels uncertain. This episode is a reminder that we’re all on this journey together —learning, growing, and becoming who we’re meant to be.

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It - Being back home reminded me how simple life actually can be — and how far we’ve drifted from that. In the city, it’s so easy to start believing that your value comes from what you post, where you’re seen, who you know. You get caught in this cycle of chasing validation without even realising it. But being in eNqutu, where people live slow, grounded lives, where nobody’s rushing to show off their blessings online… it just hit different. It made me realise: so much of what we chase is noise. None of it touches your soul the way real peace does. And the scary part is, if you’re not careful, you’ll wake up one day performing a life you don’t even recognise — all because you were too busy trying to prove you were “making it.” The real flex is waking up with a quiet heart, not a curated feed.

Bible Verses 
🤍 Ecclesiastes 1:2
🤍 Matthew 6:1

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Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https:// www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?
igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw)

TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!
_________________________________________

Music By: RomanCiigar

IG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/
romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)

Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-
%0Acligar/1551446770

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It - Being back home reminded me how simple life actually can be — and how far we’ve drifted from that. In the city, it’s so easy to start believing that your value comes from what you post, where you’re seen, who you know. You get caught in this cycle of chasing validation without even realising it. But being in eNqutu, where people live slow, grounded lives, where nobody’s rushing to show off their blessings online… it just hit different. It made me realise: so much of what we chase is noise. None of it touches your soul the way real peace does. And the scary part is, if you’re not careful, you’ll wake up one day performing a life you don’t even recognise — all because you were too busy trying to prove you were “making it.” The real flex is waking up with a quiet heart, not a curated feed.

Bible Verses

🤍 Ecclesiastes 1:2

🤍 Matthew 6:1

Grief is the echo left behind when love has nowhere to go. It’s the invisible weight pressing against the ribs, where laughter once lived and silence now lingers. It is love’s shadow, stretched long and dark across the days that follow a loss.

This episode is dedicated with Love to Gogoshi Katlego and Wandile. 

In this episode, Thando and I talk about the loss of our beloved cousin and sister, Katlego. We share our experience of hearing the news, the complicated nature of grief, and how we've been coping day by day since her passing. We also reflect on the wisdom and perspective this journey has brought us, and we try to encourage anyone going through something similar to keep moving forward—there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you to my beautiful sister, friend, cousin Thando, doing this episode with you was so special. I love you. 

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Bible Verses 

🤍Psalm 34:18 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

🤍 1 Peter 5:7

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

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Music

[This Too Shall Pass] by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

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_________________________________________

Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https:// www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?
igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw)

TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!
_________________________________________

Music By: RomanCiigar

IG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/
romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)

Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-
%0Acligar/1551446770

Grief is the echo left behind when love has nowhere to go. It’s the invisible weight pressing against the ribs, where laughter once lived and silence now lingers. It is love’s shadow, stretched long and dark across the days that follow a loss.

This episode is dedicated with Love to Gogoshi Katlego and Wandile.

In this episode, Thando and I talk about the loss of our beloved cousin and sister, Katlego. We share our experience of hearing the news, the complicated nature of grief, and how we've been coping day by day since her passing. We also reflect on the wisdom and perspective this journey has brought us, and we try to encourage anyone going through something similar to keep moving forward—there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you to my beautiful sister, friend, cousin Thando, doing this episode with you was so special. I love you.

________________________________

Bible Verses

🤍 Psalm 34:18

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

🤍 1 Peter 5:7

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

________________________________

Music

[This Too Shall Pass] by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

________________________________

OH-Kay, let’s talk about it. In this episode, I speak about the topic of singlehood and what it means to me as a heterosexual woman. I talk about how I’ve embraced being single and why, for me, there’s minimal difference between being in a romantic relationship and being single. With my hyper-independence and a love language that isn’t particularly clingy, I’ve come to realise that being on my own doesn’t mean I’m missing out on anything. I reflect on how I wish I had waited a bit longer before jumping into relationships, as I’ve spent a lot of time, emotion, and energy that could have been better spent. But, I also acknowledge that those experiences have shaped the woman I am today. I share the privilege of having God reveal the true significance of romantic relationships and marriage, which has made me more intentional about dating. I encourage women and girls to hold firm to their standards, be realistic about their needs and wants, and most importantly, embrace the time spent alone to truly understand themselves. This episode also empowers women to push back against societal pressures that insist on being in a relationship by a certain age, reminding everyone that singlehood is not a deficit but a time to grow, reflect, and prepare for the future.

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Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https:// www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?
igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw)

TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!
_________________________________________

Music By: RomanCiigar

IG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/
romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)

Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-
%0Acligar/1551446770