We had to. It's Valentine's Day, the cheesiest day of the entire year. A day that coats your tongue with garbage idioms of romance like the waxy chocolate that hallmarks February 14th. So I ask you: what better time to glory in the cheesiest romance-ish film of recent history, 50 Shades of Grey?

Do you love this film? Do you hate this film?

Yes. Us too. Its simultaneous  ridiculousness meets a strange watchability. You'll just have to listen to our whiplash attempts to unpack this cultural monster.

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