Zeus—the actual Zeus—just kicked down my door. He smells like rain, hubris, and bad decisions, and apparently, I’m his new recruit. Now my Wi-Fi’s fried, my body’s jacked, and we’re hurtling into a fight with a hundred-headed dragon. Some heads bite. Some flirt. And some? Zeus left out the weird parts.

Ever had a Greek god ruin your day? Or, uh… improve it? Tell me which deity would show up at your place and what kind of chaos or cheekiness they’d bring.