Enjoy your Olympics viewing with our deep dive into why Olympians have always been... extra horny. From the original ancient Greek Games where men trained and competed buck-naked (gymnasium = "place to exercise nude," obviously), complete with kynodesme strings to keep things "tasteful" (highly recommend looking this up), oiled-up wrestling, and all sorts of questionable activities, to today's Olympic Village traditions like emergency condom orders (20,000+ in Paris!), microchipped suits to prevent crotch-padding cheats (looking at you, Norwegian ski jumpers), and the great cardboard bed debate (RIP anti-sex myth, hello sturdy mattresses).

We talk Tony Perrottet's The Naked Olympics, salute epic post-baby comebacks from legends like Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce and Allyson Felix, debate the sexiest Winter sports husbands, and ponder the eternal question: if you had to compete in an alternate-universe Olympics against regular people, what sport would give you the best shot at a medal? (Curling and fencing are strong contenders for the athletically challenged.)

Grab your olive oil (or condoms), settle in, and celebrate the Games' long tradition of athletic excellence... and equally impressive horniness. Happy Olympics, stay safe and enjoy the show!