The longest I’ve gone without drinking – by far – were the two times I was pregnant.  The imposed sacrifice wasn’t something I enjoyed much, but it did teach me a few things.  Well, maybe one big thing:  ‘you can’t take the edge off, so don’t put it on.’  It was a recipe for living that had previously eluded me.  In the time since my children have lived on the outside of my body though, alcohol has often felt like an antidote, a treat, a crutch, a friend, the best balm I can think of for my maternally weary soul.  And that’s surely a problem.  But it’s likely one that points to bigger problems too.