You are exactly where you're supposed to be (and so am I).

No matter where you are, there is no question that you are right where you're supposed to be.

Now... it may not feel that way. It certainly didn't for me for a very loooooong time.

Things swirled. I was riddled with fear, worry, panic, and anxiety... for almost an entire year.

And even after that year, I'd get regular "visits" from that uninvited guest.

But with regular, daily self-nurturing practices like meditation, journaling, exercise, affirmations, diet, gratitude, I've been able to pull myself (with spirit's help, of course) into a place that is way beyond where I was before my "emotional meltdown" (aka spiritual awakening) occurred.

Another big piece for me was my willingness to lean on others - friends, community, family, even people I didn't know that well. They helped me like structural scaffolding as I did the work to put things back together.

And as a result, now I'm able to say with full conviction, that I am, and have always been, right where I am supposed to be. And as hard as it might be to see, you are too.If you're struggling, as I was, I suggest adopting a regular self-nurturing practice as well. As well as leaning on your friends and community. Perhaps even working with a therapist or a coach. Moving down this path is hard to do on your own, even perhaps impossible.

And don't stop believing. If I can do it... I know you can too!

Have you ever noticed that when you hear about something that worked for someone else, you want to know how to do it yourself? You want the steps, the directions, the to-do list, the tools.

The tools are the what... And while it might look like those are what gave that person the result they got, the deeper and more important cut is in exploring the 'how' and 'why'.

You see, people can do exactly the same thing, follow all the rules, take all the steps, and get very different results.

Why?

Because of what's underneath... the why.

If your checklist of to-dos, the actions you're taking are just a strategy you've adopted to avoid the pain you feel of inadequacy, unlovability, or not-enoughness inside... your action steps aren't going to solve the problem.

So... if you're not getting the results you want in any area of your life, or you're thinking about doing something to fix something that isn't working for you... take a good hard look at what you're up to and ask yourself...

🌺🌺  Are the actions I'm taking or about to take addressing my real problem?

👉 👉  If not, what are the deeper underlying beliefs of unworthiness, not-enoughness, or inadequacy I've got that I need to deal with to get what I truly want?

Do you ever wonder why your spouse gets so frustrated with you when you say you’re going to do something and then you don’t do it?

Most likely it’s because of the difference in the way you each interpreted what you said you were going to do. In your spouses’ mind, you saying you’d do whatever it was you were going to do was a commitment. It was action based. You could be counted upon to do it. And it would be clear at the end of the day whether or not it got done by whether or not it did, in fact, get done.However in your mind, it probably registered as an intention. You’d probably do it, if or when you could; you wanted to do it, if something more important didn’t come up; you would do it, as long as you had time. 

You see… if you recognized that in the moment, and communicated what you’re really thinking, it has the possibility of taking the communication in your relationship to an entirely new level. Intention: “Honey, my intention is to do this… there are a lot of things going on today, and I have every intention of doing that, but…”Commitment: “Honey, I will absolutely get that done. You can count on me. It will be done by 4:30pm this afternoon.”🚀 It’s obviously something that takes practice… but give it a shot, and let me know how it goes!

No one WANTS to reveal that they have ugly thoughts and feelings - those of anger, rage, repulsion, judgment, egotistical, arrogance, ungratefulness.

And yet you have them.

No one wants to reveal feelings of weakness... sadness, hurt, pain, despair, loneliness, apathy. 

And yet you have them.

Feelings like these are part of what it means to be human. They're real as real gets. And to deny their existence by squashing them, pretending they're not there, or rising above them in what's usually called 'spiritual bypass', makes it very difficult for others to feel like they can deeply know you and trust you. Why? Because of your unwillingness to be real with them - owning and accepting all parts of how you think and feel.

We're all human. We all have the full gamut of feelings. 

Try embracing them fully... no shame, no guilt. If you're not in that habit, it will feel uncomfortable and weird. You'll probably feel awkward. And it will certainly make you feel vulnerable.

As you'll find out if you stick with it, realness like this, true vulnerability... THEY are your strengths.

Saying goodbye can be tough. For me, i's got such a definitive endpoint to it. Like, this is it. And when I really think about it, it's also saying something to the effect of, "I might not ever see you again."

But in watching the movie Nomadland, I was left with another possibility.

What if when leaving your presence, there were a knowing that I will see you again... I simply don't know when. Whether it's in a day, week, month, year, or in the next lifetime... there really is no such thing as an endpoint, a goodbye.

Perhaps instead it's, "I'll see you down the road."

I like that much better. Brings so much peace to my heart.

🤔🤔 What do you think?

This conversation started for me inside of an interview I watched - Tucker Carlson interviewing Jordan Peterson. It made me start thinking about all the layers of the truth. Where does it start, and where does it end?

Are you in the habit of telling the truth - about everything?

It can be a bit like ripping off the band-aid, and dealing directly with what's underneath, rather than leaving the band-aid in place, covering up what's there, and letting the wound underneath fester (I love that word, "fester"!)

🙃🙃 What has been an unintended consequence of not telling the truth in your life?

The universe has a way of telling you when you might be wrong. When it lines things up time and time again that feel like they are punching you in the face... perhaps it's time to consider that the way YOU are being is at cause.

You don't have to do that. You can keep on fighting, arguing, being in againstness, but it does get tiring... eventually.

And at some point, you realize that it is easier, even empowering, to give someone else what they want, and to drop the againstness. Aka. admit you were wrong. Change course. Move the other way.

It's the road less traveled for sure. But it's usually the honorable one.

Try it on... see if it fits.

😎😎 Where have you found yourself stuck, arguing time and again for your "rightness", justifying your reasons?

👆 👉 Have something bugging you that you'd like to get off your chest? DM me to schedule some time.

Most of us look around at our life, see things that are not working, and immediately jump to answer the question, "How do I get that?"

We want the checklist, the to-do list to give us the answer to what is missing.

When you're asking How? first, it's a sign that you've missed a step.

The how changes depending on who you're being... which is what's at the root, core, base level.

Who would you have to be to have the result you desire show up the way you want it to in your life? That answer will inform your how, and will give you, in time, your to-do list.

🤲 Questions for reflection - What's the result you want? Who would you have to be to have it?

I've been talking about this for MANY years.

Does ice work for injuries? These are the cases where it does: a severed limb, a temporary reduction in pain (from numbing), a reduction in inflammation to reduce pain.

Where does it not work? EVERYWHERE ELSE for EVERYTHING ELSE.

Yes, you should stop using ice for all your little aches and pains, and for speeding up healing... it doesn't do this, in fact, it slows it down.

Watch the video for more details.

And don't take my word for it. Try it out... see what works for you.

As with just about everything in life, adopt a mindset that has YOU in the driver's seat, acting as the CEO of your own life. Listen to advisors, but take responsibility for your decisions.

It's the only way to maintain your integrity and stay out of victim mindset.

❓🤔 So... what do you think? Need to learn more? YES! Read the NYT article "Ice for Sore Muscles, Think Again."

👀 🕵️‍♂️ Where have you been following, not leading? Where have you been allowing others to dictate your decisions and actions? Where could you use a dose of self-leadership?

Questions for thought...

👉 Does driving yourself as hard as you do, as consistently that you do it, actually helping you?

✌️ Do you have a bottomless pit of self-expectations? A standard that no matter how hard you try, you'll never live up to?

🤨 Do you let that part of you lead all the time?

😫 Have you noticed how much of a mental, emotional, and physical toll that takes on you and your loved ones?

🤗 Might it be good, and a relief, to take your foot off the gas for a bit, and ENJOY yourself and your life? 🤙Can you even do that?

🖐Want to talk about this, or anything else related to your relationship or career? DM me...