Adolescence is a rocky period for any child, but adopted teens have an additional emotional burden to work through.

When children become teenagers, their thinking moves from concrete ideas, into the abstract. For adopted teens, this triggers questions about identity and belonging. One of the hardest questions they’ll ask you is this: “Why did my birth mother give me up?”

Mom, Dad—you won’t know how to answer. And don’t be afraid to say so. When you admit that you don’t know all the answers, it’ll help them learn to live with some unknowns in theirs.

So while your child is trying to come to grips with the loss of their birth parents, the most important thing to do is continue to be a source of love, understanding, patience, and grace.

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