Oneself

In this episode of Oneself, Stephen Maher talks with Yohance Boulden, host of the Finding Gold podcast, coach, and former special operations serviceman. Hance joins Stephen to discuss what makes a good life, how personal values should shape choices, and the pressures surrounding masculinity. They challenge status-driven ideas of success and argue for presence, strong personal standards, open conversations, and the freedom to define manhood for yourself.

Takeaways

• The event starts as soon as I start getting ready.
• What if my identity is just whatever gets the job done?
• Everywhere you go, there you are.
• If talking shitty to yourself would have worked, you’d have been a world champion three years ago.
• I’ve never thought about confidence. I’ve always just thought about how to get there.
• For me, the most precious thing I have that is not my children and my family are my moments and experiences.”
• One of the most masculine acts you can do is just be you.

Chapters

00:00
Yohance Boulden’s curiosity-first approach to life

02:10
Why certainty can close you off

04:58
What travel teaches about culture and perspective

06:59
Turning travel and retreat insights into daily practice

13:21
Go the Speed Limit: slow down to notice more

16:05
Physical identity, constraints, and creative adaptation

18:57
Making peace with yourself and uncertainty

22:54
Changing self-talk and redefining confidence

28:05
Meditation, thoughts, and the practice of letting go

32:40
What modern life may have cost us: time and community

33:21
How everyday barriers keep people from showing up

36:02
Experiences, happiness, and redefining success

39:05
A favorite memory that money could not buy

43:15
Hance’s four levels of money priorities

45:10
Writing to your 85-year-old future self

47:12
What younger men ask about masculinity

49:24
Being yourself while holding yourself to a standard

52:50
Adventure requires uncertainty and effort

54:19
Online masculinity content and debate culture

58:30
Parenting, role models, and raising boys

01:02:20
High agency and rejecting the “man uniform”

01:09:10
Man points, vulnerability, and using your voice

01:11:23
Hance’s closing advice: live a good life

Keep up with Yohance below:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/atravelin_man/
Finding Gold Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@findinggoldpod
Substack: https://actaccordingly.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

What happens when life's hardest experiences become the reason you fight for something bigger than yourself?

In this episode of Oneself, Stephen Maher sits down with Jeff Johnston, founder and CEO of the Brightn app to explore how personal tragedy, grief, and the realities of mental health can shape the way we live, connect, and find purpose.

Jeff shares his experience of losing his son and wife to addiction and the difficult journey that followed, reflecting on the relationship between mental health and addiction, the challenge of navigating despair, and the role that purpose can play in moving forward. He explains how Stoic philosophy has helped him approach grief and life's unpredictability, and how the experiences that cause us pain can also change the way we show up for others.

The conversation explores what it means to build resilience without pretending that hardship is easy, why vulnerability is essential to genuine connection, and how gratitude and perspective can help us keep going through difficult times. Jeff also reflects on turning personal pain into advocacy and the importance of building communities and systems that support mental wellness.

This is a conversation about finding meaning in the midst of hardship, being honest about what we're going through, and using our experiences to make a difference in the lives of others.

In this episode, we explore:

• How personal loss can reshape our sense of purpose
• The connection between mental health, addiction, and the need for support
• Why purpose becomes passion when it gets personal
• Using Stoic philosophy to navigate grief and uncertainty
• Building resilience through adversity and changing our perspective
• The role of gratitude in getting through life's hardest moments
• Why vulnerability and emotional honesty are signs of strength
• Turning personal pain into meaningful advocacy
• The importance of community, connection, and better mental health support

If you've ever struggled to make sense of a painful experience, questioned your purpose, or wondered how to keep moving forward when life takes an unexpected turn, this conversation is a reminder that we don't have to face those challenges alone.

Chapters

00:00 – Introduction to Jeff Johnston's Journey
01:55 – The Meaning of Purpose and Passion
05:13 – Jeff's Personal Tragedy: The Loss of Seth and his wife Prudence
10:12 – The Road of Despair vs. Hope
15:08 – The Role of Stoicism in Healing
19:57 – Creating Purpose from Personal Pain
24:54 – The Impact of Addiction and Mental Health
29:54 – Building Resilience and Trust in Systems
34:57 – The Power of Gratitude and Perspective
40:09 – The Importance of Vulnerability and Community
44:59 – Creating Solutions and Moving Forward

Oneself is a podcast about identity, purpose, spirituality, and personal growth. We're not here as experts with all the answers. We're fellow humans trying to figure it out, questioning the stories we tell ourselves and learning from the people and experiences that shape us.

Follow Jeff below:

https://www.brightn.app/
https://www.instagram.com/brightnapp/
https://www.facebook.com/brightnapp
https://www.linkedin.com/company/brightnapp/home/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffrey-a-johnston/

What does it actually take to change, and how do we know we're moving in the right direction?

In this episode of Oneself, Stephen Maher sits down with Bryan Bush, founder of the Reboot Project, a nonprofit helping veterans and first responders navigate transitions, trauma, and personal growth.

Bryan shares how his military background shaped his understanding of discipline, leadership, and community, and why meaningful change requires more than motivation. Together, they explore the relationship between self-awareness and accountability, the importance of building systems that support our goals, and how community can help us move through resistance and become more intentional about who we're becoming.

The conversation also challenges conventional ideas about masculinity, exploring how discipline and strength can coexist with love, vulnerability, and authentic self-expression. From the role of mentors and shared purpose to the connection between physical health and mental well-being, Bryan offers a perspective on growth rooted in both personal responsibility and collective support.

We're all navigating change in one way or another. The question is whether we're doing it intentionally and whether the people and systems around us are helping us become more fully ourselves.

In this episode, we explore:

- Why self-awareness and accountability are foundations for meaningful change
- The difference between changing for the sake of change and committing to continuous improvement
- How intentional change theory can help us create a more deliberate path forward
- Why goals, structure, and finishing what we start matter
- Rethinking masculinity through the balance of discipline, strength, and love
- How community, mentorship, and shared purpose support personal growth
- The connection between physical health, mental well-being, and accountability
- How the Reboot Project helps veterans and first responders navigate life's transitions

Chapters:

00:00
Introduction to Bryan Bush and the Reboot Project
00:44
Brian's background and motivation for the Reboot Project
01:55
Helping veterans and first responders through transitions
02:22
Assessment and resource redirection in trauma recovery
03:47
Change management as awareness and accountability
04:38
The mindset of addiction to change and improvement
05:13
Dealing with resistance and motivation in change
06:33
The intentional change theory and its founder Richard Boyatsis
08:00
Self-directed change and curating a personal system
10:16
The importance of setting goals and crossing finishing lines
12:21
The balance of discipline and love in masculinity
14:02
The warrior mindset and evolving identity
15:41
The role of community and accountability
17:24
The significance of authenticity and self-expression
21:11
The power of belief and gratitude
23:37
The impact of books like 'Can't Hurt Me' and motivation
26:24
Parenting, love, and modern masculinity
28:15
The influence of mentors and military bonds
32:55
Building community and the importance of shared purpose
36:55
Authenticity in leadership and community building
39:46
The journey of self-discovery and continuous improvement
45:34
Using data and science to optimize health
50:12
The levels of health, nutrition, and accountability
54:12
The structure of the Reboot Project: Basecamp, High Camp, Summit
55:34
Motivation, accountability, and overcoming barriers
57:16
Fear, risk, and the pursuit of greatness
58:51
The importance of community and shared purpose
01:00:10
Final thoughts and call to action for listeners

About Bryan Bush and the Reboot Project:

Bryan Bush founded the Reboot Project to help veterans and first responders navigate change and find the support and resources they need to move forward. Through a structured approach that includes Basecamp, High Camp, and Summit, the project emphasizes personal growth, accountability, and community.

If you're questioning your direction, working through a major transition, or trying to build a life that better reflects who you are, this conversation offers a reminder that lasting change begins with awareness, and grows through intentional action and connection.

Connect with the Reboot Project: 

https://www.therebootproject.org/
https://www.instagram.com/the_reboot_project_usa/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61560290818544

Summary:

Stephen shares his personal journey through an Achilles tendon rupture, recovery, and the deeper lessons learned about patience, gratitude, and the importance of asking for help. This episode explores physical, emotional, and spiritual resilience in the face of adversity.

Takeaways

• Injury can be a catalyst for self-awareness and growth.
• Patience and consistent effort are key to recovery.
• Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
• Gratitude shifts perspective and fosters resilience.
• Physical injuries can deepen spiritual and emotional practices.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Stephen’s injury background

02:00
Medical diagnosis and the importance of insurance

03:52
The significance of nature and physical activity

06:12
Physical therapy and optimizing recovery

07:56
Strangers’ support and community experience

10:01
Lessons on slowing down and balance

12:06
The importance of patience and consistent effort

14:12
Modern medicine versus historical injury treatment

16:04
Navigating physical limitations and small victories

17:48
The importance of vulnerability and asking for help

19:58
The interconnectedness of physical and mental health

20:52
Gratitude for modern medicine and support systems

21:58
The value of presence and mindfulness during recovery

23:01
The power of community and shared experiences

23:57
The importance of humility and vulnerability

24:57
Reframing injury as a growth opportunity

25:55
The role of patience and discipline in healing

27:01
The ongoing journey and future outlook

28:02
Closing thoughts and gratitude

29:08
Final reflections and encouragement for listeners

Summary:

On this week's episode of Oneself, Stephen and Adam talk with Jasmine Henry, a death educator from Houston, Texas. Jasmine shares insights on the importance of community, access, and cultural practices in end-of-life care. This episode explores how conversations about death can transform communities and individual lives.

Takeaways:

• The role of death educators and doulas in community care
• Access disparities in end-of-life care for Black and Brown communities
• The impact of systemic distrust and historical trauma on death care
• The importance of cultural rituals and community involvement in mourning
• The influence of religion and spirituality on death decisions
• The need for open conversations about death and dying
• Innovative death rituals from around the world
• The future of death in the digital age and environmental considerations

Chapters:

00:00
Introduction to Jaz Henry and the episode's focus

02:01
What is a death educator and what does the role entail?

04:59
Access disparities in end-of-life care among Black and Brown communities

10:03
The systemic distrust rooted in historical trauma

14:47
The influence of religion and spirituality on death decisions

19:54
Community care and the return to traditional death rituals

24:50
The importance of conversations about death and dying

29:59
Innovative and cultural death rituals from around the world

34:56
The future of death: digital bodies and environmental considerations

39:54
How community and vulnerability can transform grief and mourning

45:03
Closing thoughts and resources for community death care

Summary:

In this episode, Stephen and Adam explore the true meaning of masculinity, vulnerability, and the importance of self-love among men. They discuss societal programming, the impact of language, and how men can embrace a healthier, more balanced identity.

Takeaways:

• The societal programming of masculinity and its impact
• The importance of vulnerability and emotional expression for men
• Language and its role in shaping perceptions of strength and weakness
• The need for self-love and compassion among men
• The influence of role models and cultural narratives on masculinity
• The contrast between traditional masculinity and healthy emotional balance
• The role of fear and insecurity in male behavior
• How societal change can foster healthier masculinity

Chapters:

00:00
Introduction and overview of the episode

01:52
Men's reactions to vulnerability and societal expectations

04:12
The programming of masculinity by family and culture

07:07
The importance of love and emotional expression among men

09:53
Societal myths about strength and masculinity

12:59
The illusion of toughness and its fragility

16:14
The impact of language and labels on perceptions of weakness

18:53
Questions to challenge societal norms and beliefs

22:03
The importance of self-awareness and compassion

25:09
The role of fear and insecurity in male behavior

27:57
The need for societal change and healthier models of masculinity

30:52
Practical steps for men to embrace vulnerability and love

33:59
The future of masculinity and societal evolution

Summary:

On this week's episode of Oneself, Stephen and Adam speak with Tamila Tim, who shares her unique insights on death, consciousness, past lives, and the spiritual journey, blending her experiences as a hypnotherapist, nurse, and medium to explore profound questions about life and beyond.

Takeaways:

- Perspectives on death as a transition, not an end
- The role of love and liberation in understanding death
- Past lives and their influence on current life
- The nature of consciousness beyond physical death
- Near-death experiences and what they reveal about the afterlife
- The importance of community and relationships in spiritual growth
- The impact of water and water-related near-death experiences
- The concept of energy and tethering in death and transition
- The role of love, allow, and be in spiritual practice
- The cultural differences in approaching death and dying

Chapters:

00:00
Introduction to Tamila Tim and her background
01:01
Experiences in Guatemala and the magic of Lake Atitlan
02:50
Cultural perspectives on death and the afterlife
03:21
Tamala's memories of seeing spirit since childhood
04:16
Death as a transition, not an end
08:44
Near-death experience during water drowning
12:14
Past lives and their influence on current life
16:06
Soul connections and past life agreements
22:27
Why humanity is stuck in separation and judgment
26:19
Earth as a classroom for spiritual growth
33:35
The beauty of death and the transition process
36:43
Supporting loved ones at the moment of death
44:07
Consciousness and awareness at the moment of death
54:41
Spirit's message: love, allow, and be

Follow Tamila Here:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1EbHgFR9sd/?mibextid=wwXIfr
https://www.instagram.com/guidesofwisdom/
https://www.tiktok.com/@guidesofwisdom?_r=1&_t=ZS-99BS7RuysPY
https://youtube.com/@guidesofwisdom?si=uFBTG_Y3Ooypdmg2
https://guidesofwisdom.com/

Summary:

On this week's episode of Oneself, Stephen Maher and Adam Bartleman talk with Karl Ritter. Stephen and Karl are friends who bonded over their shared experience with low vision while meeting in Guatemala. They discuss what it means to live with low vision, and how community, humor, and adaptation shape daily life. The conversation also explores the Pacific Northwest, changing food systems, environmental habits in Guatemala, and the challenge of staying active when your body changes.

Takeaways:

• Stephen explains how he met Karl in Guatemala and why the connection felt so natural.
• Karl shares how low vision differs from hearing loss in terms of community and shared access.
• Adam reflects on growing up in the Pacific Northwest and how much he took its nature and air quality for granted.
• Karl compares Canadian and American media, especially how border life shaped his exposure to radio and TV.
• The group discusses travel, temperature, and how living near Canada taught Karl the Celsius scale through experience.
• Karl describes changes he has noticed in the US, including tap to pay, appointments for basic services, and the quality of food.
• The conversation turns to Guatemala’s food culture, fresh produce, compostable packaging, and the rise of ultra-processed foods.
• Karl explains how garbage, infrastructure, and education all affect pollution around Lake Atitlán.
• The group reflects on aging, disability, injury, and how to let go of activities that no longer serve your body.
• Karl closes with advice to keep going, find a new activity, and build community around it.

Chapters:

(00:00) - Opening and introductions
 (00:51) - How Stephen and Karl met in Guatemala
 (04:09) - Why blind and low-vision communities form differently
 (06:44) - Humor as a coping mechanism
 (08:51) - Growing up in the Pacific Northwest
 (10:02) - Canadian radio, media, and border culture
 (12:17) - Learning Celsius through everyday life
 (14:34) - Tap to pay and changing routines
 (17:06) - Food quality and the texture of US restaurant food
 (22:14) - Processed food, snacks, and changing diets in Guatemala
 (24:24) - Lake Atitlán, travelers, and technology habits
 (30:17) - Pollution, trash, and the shift away from organic materials
 (33:27) - Education, recycling, and community cleanup efforts
 (39:16) - Ultra-processed food and health impacts
 (47:34) - Staying active through injury and vision changes
 (50:52) - Community through disc golf, hiking, and bowling
 (55:25) - Reading less and choosing better books
 (57:03) - Aging, safety, and reducing risk
 (59:46) - Final thoughts on grief, adaptation, and community

Karl's Social Media:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgQH5zNPww0
https://www.facebook.com/ABlindLife/
https://www.instagram.com/ablindlife?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsi=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
https://ablindlife.com/

Summary:

In this episode of Oneself, Stephen and Adam talk with Patricia Greer, who shares her lifelong journey with food, community, and sustainability, exploring how food connects us to ourselves, each other, and the earth. They discuss cycles in nature, the importance of stillness, and how love and community can foster hope for the future.

Takeaways:

• Food as a source of comfort and community
• The cycle of growth, decay, and renewal in nature
• The importance of stillness and presence in life
• The role of plant medicine in healing and consciousness
• Building community through local food initiatives
• The spiritual and cultural significance of food
• The impact of modern agriculture on health and environment
• The importance of passing down wisdom across generations

Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction to Pat Greer
03:29 - The role of food in nourishing the soul
06:37 - Dealing with excess food and community sharing
10:28 - The evolution of sustainable food practices
14:49 - Unconscious consciousness and interconnectedness
16:31 - Cycles in farming, community, and global events
19:41 - The importance of nurturing the earth and resources
22:19 - Acts of kindness and community support
24:19 - Passing down wisdom through generations
30:17 - The communication of plants and the intelligence of nature
33:39 - Food as medicine and the impact of processed foods
36:36 - The evolution of food products and ingredients
37:17 - Sustainable practices and permaculture
42:32 - Hope for the future and the power of love
44:35 - The interconnectedness of all life and energy
48:47 - The value of community, sharing, and intergenerational wisdom
52:46 - Redefining power and community service
56:28 - The miracle of life and the cosmic lottery
57:22 - Gratitude and the importance of love and presence
58:52 - Final thoughts and encouragement to love and hug

Summary:

In this episode of Oneself, Stephen and Adam have on Dan Lansdowne, who shares his transformative journey through sobriety, community, and spiritual practices like sweat lodges and fasting. This episode explores the power of vulnerability, community, and authentic living as paths to healing and happiness.

Takeaways:

• Suffering can be constructive and a path to growth
• Community is the opposite of addiction and essential for healing
• Authenticity and vulnerability are key to genuine connection
• Self-discipline and self-awareness are powerful tools for change
• The importance of showing up in a good way without expectations

Chapters:

00:00
Introduction and guest background

01:53
Dan's experience with sweat lodges and fasting

04:52
The role of community and support

09:51
Sobriety and self-discovery

14:50
The mental and spiritual aspects of fasting

19:58
Living authentically and showing up

25:06
The importance of vulnerability and humility

29:46
Overcoming ego and false masks

35:04
The power of role models and mentorship

40:14
The significance of men supporting men

44:56
Acceptance, gratitude, and continuous growth

49:56
Final thoughts and encouragement