After a bit of a health issue, Mr Phil and his wonderfully patient writing team have dissected the first half of Eurovision 1973.

If you don't know what That's my Dog is, or were born before 1983, this might be a history lesson for you - it's better than the stuff you learn at school.

Also, who the hell thought singing songs in an airport was a good move?!

Contains mild swearing and several dodgy songs and haircuts!