The Oscar nominations have JUST been announced (well, like four hours ago) so it's high time I got up off my ass and nailed my colours to the wall with some predictions on this year's Awards Meat Parade.

Elsewhere, 'Mercy' and 'The History of Sound' go under the microscope for analysis and dissection, along with wading very tepidly into the Brooklyn Beckham / Victoria Beckham delulu drama as a treatise on the death of celebrity. No, really.