Joe Barksdale shares his story about a life that was forged and assembled by an abusive and neglectful family in Detroit, tested on football fields, and released in recording studios and on stage. While feeling so much pain and internal self-loathing, he talks about how he tolerated the social discomfort and loneliness of autism. He goes on to describe how he has endured his own darkness to add art to the world and create community which generated the discussion for s2. E7. N17. of the Otherness Podcast.

This week, Todd interviews Joe Barksdale who is a comedian, musician, and author who was recently diagnosed with autism while struggling with a lifetime of crushing depression. Joe describes how the lens of autism has worsened his depression and feelings of hopelessness while he strives to create community and support through his music and comedy.

Struggles can come in multiple ways for many to form the people we become. Autism can provide a unique lens which can magnify these struggles into more painful feelings that lead to desolation. Joe Barksdale shares about how he has lived a brave life through his childhood defined by abuse and neglect and time spent playing professional football. Barksdale shares how he wanted to be the best in a focused and concrete way that can be enhanced by autism. Despite his perceived success, Joe explains in this interview how he struggled with gripping depression and consistent suicidal thoughts. Joe talks about how he was an A student in high school who wanted to design the interior of cars before he embarked on his football career which was driven by his desire to show others that he could be the best at what he did. Joe talks about how he succeeded in the game of football, but did not like to be the center of attention. In this episode, Joe shares how he feels most comfortable when performing comedy and expressing his true self to others on stage. Joe goes on to describe how he wants to build a community that supports the creative output and compassion of others, particularly those affected by things with which he has struggled as a black man with mental illness and autism. Joe wants to call the community Moonbeam, which is the name of the first song he wrote for which he felt truly proud. This vision of community may embody Joe’s living force which appears so rooted in darkness.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.


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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Todd talks to his mother, Melanie, about how families form around defining members and moments. The Levine family was created around his brother, Jay, and moved forward with the compassion and conviction of Melanie. They reflect on how they purely embraced who Jay was and how they saw a future of companionship and community for him in s2. E6. N16. of the Otherness Podcast titled Faith without knowing. Autism Family Reflections from Mom.

It took a while for Todd’s mother, Melanie, to join him for a family conversation on the Otherness Podcast. When they recorded this episode, Todd was able to remember how she led the Levine family into the uncharted waters of being truly present with his brother, Jay. Companionship for Jay was the top priority for Melanie, and she shares the experiences and images that fueled her faith and hope.

Todd’s brother, Jay, has a steady job, his own apartment, and a caring girlfriend. Objectively, one could say that Jay is a success as a man, let alone one with autism. In this conversation between Todd and his mother, Melanie, these successes are not the focal point. The more meaningful creations were the relationships that were fueled by Jay’s true desire to connect and set by Melanie’s steady faith in his capacity for companionship with individuals and his community.

Melanie shares an important family story of when she went to a local hardware store many years ago and met an employee there that reminded her of Jay. He wore a wedding ring and Melanie wondered who his wife was. She returned to the store a few days later and saw this man’s wife and was moved by how similar they were to each other as well as to Jay. The image of that couple stayed with her during Jay’s arduous yet fulfilling road towards being with someone who truly cared about him. Todd and Melanie also discuss how she went to the many school meetings to help Jay get the resources he needed being cooperative and non-adversarial, even if she was angry about what wasn’t being done for him. Todd describes what it was like to be forged in autism as Jay’s brother and how there was no real concept of abnormality in the relationship.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

S2. E6. N16. of the Otherness Podcast titled Faith without knowing. Autism Family Reflections from Mom.

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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When Todd’s daughter, Sofia, told him she wanted to write about autism for her end-of-year middle school research paper, Todd was both excited and anxious. Both the anxiety and excitement came from wondering what parts of her life experience with autism she incorporated into herself. The connective conversation that took place and became s2. E5. N15. of the Otherness Podcast titled Like Father Like Daughter. A Family Discussion About Autism.

The tables of the Otherness Podcast are turned as Todd is interviewed by his daughter, Sofia. She asks intuitive questions about how Todd understands challenges hospitals have with engaging families affected by autism, the changing landscape from finding a “cure” for autism towards community and cultural support, and what she was surprised to learn in her research about how autism is actually a part of all of us.

“Embracing autism is embracing the human condition”

Like many of us, Todd has understood it is hard to “leave your work at the office”, especially when you spend it with families facing all of the challenges of autism as he does. He realized that his daughter, Sofia, was incorporating some of the spoken and unspoken lessons she learned about autism into her own ideas and questions. This led her to write a research paper on autism for a middle school project and was able to explore what we know and don’t know about autism.

“I never thought of it as weird, it was just who my uncle was.”

Todd has always wanted Sofia to form her own voice, which she did. While some of her views overlap with her father, some do not. Their discussion helped Todd realize that the children watching us try to “figure out autism” are actually growing up in an environment where they actually experience autism with those around them. Sofia not only learned about autism from growing up with her Uncle Jay, but saw communities embracing those with special needs. This brings normalcy to relationships grown in autism. She never viewed Jay as anything but her uncle and describes how she can relate to some of his autism traits for herself as we all need tools to cope that may involve repetition and order. They also discuss caring for people with autism in schools, hospitals, and therapy sessions while reflecting on what Jay experienced and what they have seen around them today.

s2. E5. N15. of the Otherness Podcast is titled Like Father Like Daughter. A Family Discussion About Autism.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)

Like Father Like Daughter. A Family Discussion About Autism.

Todd finds himself closely relating to retired Officer Jerry Turning who has learned that patience, relatability, and trust lead to better outcomes in interactions between the autism community and law enforcement. Todd has learned similar lessons in his medical career and he and Jerry take inventory on how autism has shaped them as people and professionals in s2. E4. N14. of the Otherness Podcast titled Professionals Are Not The Autism Experts, Families Are.

Todd finds a meaningful connection with retired Officer Jerry Turning whose blog “Bacon and Juiceboxes” and book “Desperate Pursuits” describe the internal struggles and steep learning curve that come from being a K9 police officer and autism dad. He has now forged a new career in retirement helping first responders and the autism community make meaningful connections.

For the second part of his conversation with retired Officer Jerry Turning, Todd finds out much more about how Jerry felt terror and sadness when trying to help families affected by autism get through crises. He emotionally describes a situation where a bruised grandmother called the police to help calm her grandson with autism who was aggressive and destructive. Jerry made the call, to the confusion and alarm of his fellow officers, to leave the house when the grandson was able to calm down. He stayed in his cruiser nearby and was ready to help if the grandmother needed help. He feels we have to do better and the families are the experts when it comes to engaging their members with autism. Jerry imagines his son being physically restrained and brought to a hospital where he still may not receive adequate help and that drives him towards finding other ways to de-escalate crises. Todd relates to Jerry’s experiences and has found it very liberating to admit he does not know what to do at times and feels we don’t have control of the human condition. Jerry described how acting like you have control and know things when you actually do not will make a stressful situation much, much worse.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.


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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Professionals Are Not The Autism Experts, Families Are.

Todd sits down with retired Officer Jerry Turning who has chronicled his life as an autism dad in his blog “Bacon and Juiceboxes” where he describes the often gritty and disruptive life in autism. They go into the shared experience of appreciating the autism mindset as something of beauty despite it being a big mystery in s2. E3. N13. of the Otherness Podcast called Failing and Finding In Autism. Loving the Autism Perspective.

Todd finds himself moved and intrigued by how a police officer and psychiatrist can get together and find a common energy in living with autism in their families and work. Officer Jerry Turning joins Todd to share his feelings and experiences of being an autism father and someone dedicated to working in the autism community and law enforcement.

After Todd was introduced to the “Bacon and Juiceboxes” blog, he read the book “Desperate Pursuits” which are both written by Officer Jerry Turning. While the blog is about Jerry’s personal and unfiltered approach to living with his son with autism (Eric) the book is fictional and dives into the life of a police officer who is haunted by his son’s autism. The first conversation Todd and Jerry had lasted 2 hours and could have gone much longer. This is because the concepts of appreciating autism for what it is and reflecting on why they have the responses they do was very connecting for both of them. On the episode, Jerry describes how he will “fail” multiple times a day as he grows with Eric and his family to find a rhythm that works for everyone involved. Jerry has been able to find joy in Eric’s repetitive enjoyment of the same simple acts. For example, Eric is excited to the same degree every time go to the store to buy the same toy cars, even though he does not actually play with them. He also finds more enjoyment from getting a pepperoni sandwich (no toppings) from Subway for the 100th time than he does going to a luxury resort. Jerry also described how anxious he feels when he is not with Eric and wonders about his emotions and safety. Jerry is most at rest when he and Eric are sitting comfortably on the couch together and can put aside the challenges of the outside world for a few moments.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

Failing and Finding in Autism. Loving the Autism Perspective. S2 E3 #013 of The Otherness Podcast

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Todd talks about how the stories of living with autism have been much more important than any textbook, any medical journal or any lecture he’s ever been to. What families have shown him is that autism is to be lived and experienced and not just studied in s2. E2. N12. of the Otherness Podcast called Listening to the Spectrum. An Otherness Podcast Overview.

Todd speaks to how much the Otherness Podcast has led to his personal growth. Particularly, he talks about how despite studying autism through traditional methods of medical school and medical training, the most fulfilling and thrilling parts of his career have come from learning from the people he’s met and talked to about real feelings.

Reflection is a powerful tool for remembering what has been lived and felt so it can inform how we move forward. Todd takes time to remember what brought him to the creation of the Otherness Podcast and they are friendship, passion, and communication. As season 2 begins, there are memories of all of the meaningful stories that have already been told and how they create a longer narrative that will continue in season 2 and beyond. Stories of what it means to feel the vast spectrum of feelings that include terror, rage, sadness, and pain can create a venue to move into the humanity of autism and away from the diagnosis itself. We define our children by who they are as humans and the lens through which autism is viewed, while different, has a unique perspective that can actually open our minds up to humanity in a greater way. That's how the name of The Otherness Podcast came about. What does this person who sees and feels differently bring to me and what can I bring to them and share in the experience?
These are the questions Todd asks himself when he speaks with of all of his guests and the families he works with professionally.

Listening to the Spectrum. An Otherness Podcast Overview. s2. E2. N12.

The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Todd is joined with Jason Lupow, an old friend from medical school who is raising 2 sons on the spectrum while working as an emergency department physician. He meaningfully describes how he does not sweat the small stuff, tolerates feeling judged, and has worked hard to get his sons the support they need in s2. E1. N11. of the Otherness Podcast titled Through the Autism BS: Persistence, Parenting, and Doctoring.

Todd is joined by Dr. Jason Lupow, an autism father, emergency department physician, and the father of 2 boys on the spectrum who describes how he sorts through what is most important and helpful in supporting him and his family.

When you meet in your 20’s in med school, you are young, broke, and passionate. This is the time when Jason and Todd met and they had no idea then how autism would define their lives so immensely. They touch on how siblings will ultimately take a caretaking role for their brother of sister with autism, how cool displays of memory are parlor tricks that may not have functional use over time, how arguments with insensitive people in the community are familiar, and how when someone says “your kid looks normal”, it is actually a hurtful insult. Jason has found sports to be an important part of his sons’ development as one has an analytical mind when for football and one participates in special needs sports leagues.

Jason also shares how ABA along with use of risperidone, a psychiatric medication that can be helpful for irritability and aggression, helped one of his sons emerge from difficult times. They tolerate some side effects as it has made his home a more peaceful and engaging place. Jason describes with passion how he feels connected to the people with autism who come to his ER with behavior issues and that they simply need compassionate care instead of elaborate tests and medications to sedate them. He also informs families of what resources there are in his community that have helped him and his family gather support which is an essential ingredient for growth in autism.

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The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Through the Autism BS: Persistence, Parenting, and Doctoring.

Dr. Randy Freeman joins Todd to reflect on his professional experience as a psychiatrist in autism and his personal experience as an autism father to his son, Aidan. He shares how few other doctors actually “get” autism, how we should lead with family and love, and military service can help improve compassion in s1. E10. N10. of the Otherness Podcast titled Stories from an Autism Dad and Doctor. Aidan’s Autism Law.

Todd is joined by Dr. Randy Freeman, an autism father and child psychiatrist, to talk about incorporating his professional training and personal experience to bring quality care to families affected by autism with warmth and love.

People who are passionate about providing personal care to families affected by autism seem to find each other. So it was natural that Todd found Dr. Randy Freeman, another psychiatrist with personal and professional investment in the world of autism. Randy served as an officer in the military, lived in different parts of the world with this family, and entered the world of autism when his son, Aidan, was diagnosed with autism at 22 months old. Like Todd, Randy has been inspired by and challenged with the imperfect art of bringing your personal experience into your work. They share how they yearned for autism mentorship in their medical training and had to find it on their own. Randy brings his family experience into his office everyday which is also painted in Aidan’s favorite color and is decorated with Aidan’s artwork. They agree that love and family are the most important ingredients in their work and the use of medications is simply a tool like any other. Todd loved to fish the waters of Narragnsett Bay and the logo for Randy’s practice is a sailboat, symbolizing the launch of his career in autism. We find out about how “Aidan’s Law” was laid down by Randy who needed to impress upon a school that education is for everyone at every level.

s1. E10. N10. of the Otherness Podcast is titled Stories from an Autism Dad and Doctor. Aidan’s Autism Law.
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The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.
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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Stories from an Autism Dad and Doctor. Aidan’s Autism Law.

Peach pits and fairy dust have been key ingredients for Sue Jewel, who is raising two daughters with autism. A peach pit almost killed one of her daughters and she sprinkles fairy dust over her family as tensions inevitably run high. Hear how Sue deals with losses and finds growth in s1. E9. N9. of the Otherness Podcast titled Darkness Finds You In Autism. A Mother’s Losses and Gains.

Todd sits down with Sue Jewel, who has two daughters with autism, to share feelings of fear and endurance as she deals with nearly losing one of her daughters and keeping her family together through it all.

When Todd lived and worked in Rhode Island, he was introduced to the moms of the Autism Project. Sue Jewel, a member of the organization who reminds everyone it is not simply a “mom’s group”, came to Todd with two daughters with autism who were both struggling with different repetitive styles. Julia, a prolific artist, would hyper-focus on finding one of her thousands of drawings that she kept in a bag, but not be able to say exactly what she was looking for. While Sue frantically looked for one of the drawings to prevent a meltdown, Emily (her younger daughter) would then grab Sue with terror and try to flee the house, sometimes naked. Emily would get aggressive whenever she heard someone cough or clear their throat, following an episode where Emily almost choked to death on a peach pit. Sue started off life married without children for 8 years, hustling to build a business she could sustain before having children.

After having 2 daughters with autism, the business was sold and her marriage ended. Holding the household together as a single mom was fortified by her new professional identity as an educator at the Autism Project, as well as life-long friendships that were forged with other mothers affected by autism. Sue has defined family in a new and different way, with her ex-husband and her new husband, as she learned endurance, flexibility, and a gentler way of understanding anger as fear.

Darkness Finds You In Autism. A Mother’s Losses and Gains is the title of s1. E9. N9. of the Otherness Podcast.

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The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.
More available at https://othernesspodcast.com.
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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Darkness Finds You In Autism. A Mother’s Losses and Gains.

A fellow autism psychiatrist and brother of a young man on the spectrum, Dr. Jared Reichenberg, shares with Todd how life in autism started in childhood and extended into a career. They discuss how feelings of helplessness can generate hope when relating to families affected by autism for s1. E8. N8. of the Otherness Podcast titled Boulders and Mirrors in Autism. Examining the reflections.

Todd reflects on how the path to a career in autism can begin with a brother on the spectrum, but is also influenced by good mentorship and some stark reality checks with fellow autism psychiatrist, Dr. Jared Reichenberg.

Todd and Jared met on a crisp fall day in Providence, Rhode Island when Todd was giving a lecture on autism to Jared and his fellow psychiatry trainees. Jared introduced himself to Todd after the lecture was over. Todd can’t remember exactly what Jared said, but he definitely felt the presence of a colleague who shared his life experience of having a sibling with autism, as well as his passion for autism.

That common ground started a connection that built over the next 5 years and culminated with Jared taking over care of many of Todd’s patients when Todd moved to Phoenix. On this episode, they describe how, no matter how long they do this work, they still struggle with similar feelings of helplessness and worries of failure, especially when faced with extremely challenging patients. They also speak about how their lives as brothers of someone on the spectrum tumble into the world of caring for families affected by autism in sometimes obvious and sometimes mysterious ways. They share the power of good mentorship, interesting gifts given by patients, and the delivery of sincere and imperfect care in their work.

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The Otherness Podcast is exploring and engaging autism through experienced stories with Dr. Todd Peter Levine and is available on most places and sites where you like to listen to podcasts.

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Opening Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Intro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing/Nick Burling (ASCAP)
Administered by Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
*******
Closing Theme Song Music Credits
“Otherness Podcast Outro Theme Song and Music” by Nicholas Burling
Copyright 2021 Late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
Administered by late Leopard Publishing (ASCAP)
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Boulders and Mirrors in Autism. Examining the reflections.