This week we ask: Has Jose Mourinho discovered the secret of Cosmic Ordering? Does LVG need a restraining order against him before he is released into the wild, and what does he look forward to after dealing with all this speculation and interrogation by reporters? Has the Leeds chairman found an ingenious way for football clubs to increase revenue? And does Diego Costa have a secret identity?Also: Wayne Rooney delivers a heartfelt Eulogy; we get a lesson in debating from a Liverpool supporter; and Michael Owen demonstrates an affinity for probability. #Everton #LeedsUtd #Liverpool #ManUtd #LVG #GoalOfTheMonth #GeorgeShaw #AskTheUniverse #TheSecret #CosmicOrdering #LFC #LUFC #HughHefner #MichaelOwen On The Left Side is a Paint Your Headphones production and was written and produced by Jim Salveson and Ant McGinley in Manchester and Southampton. This week's executive producer was two feet tall and wore a witches hat, and the credits were read by Dr Victor Gannon (yes, the one from Witch Mountain). The show is recorded using a Blue Yeti Microphone, Tascam DR100 digital recorder, and edited using Adobe Audition Creative Cloud. The OTLS Theme Tune "Don't Care" is written and performed by Katalina Kicks. Other incidental music and sound effects appear courtesy of www.freesfx.co.uk If you want to get in touch or send us stuff: [email protected] or tweet us @ontheleftside A new episode is released every Monday.