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What happens when faith collides with real-world suffering? We tackle this question head-on, diving deep into a conversation most would rather avoid. Pain is universal—no one escapes it—yet our Western church culture often lacks a robust theology for navigating life's darkest valleys.

Through the lens of Job's ancient story, we uncover how God never explains the "why" behind suffering, offering instead His presence and character. This biblical truth challenges common misconceptions that obedience equals comfort or that faith shields us from hardship. Jesus himself promised trouble in this world, while Paul, Peter, and James all spoke of suffering as an expected part of the faith journey.

Science confirms what scripture suggests: transformation often emerges from our deepest pain. Studies reveal that 50-60% of trauma survivors experience positive change through what psychologists call Post-Traumatic Growth—new possibilities, deeper relationships, increased personal strength, spiritual renewal, and greater appreciation for life.

Whether you're currently walking through darkness or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers both comfort and challenge. God collects our tears, draws near to the brokenhearted, and promises His presence through the waters and fires of life. Consider sharing this episode with someone who needs to hear they're not alone in their suffering.

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The ability to hear God's voice is a cornerstone of authentic faith, yet many believers struggle to recognize when the Lord is speaking to them. In this heartfelt conversation, Ben and Liz unpack Jesus's powerful metaphor of sheep recognizing their shepherd's voice, revealing how this ancient imagery perfectly illustrates our spiritual relationship with God today.

Drawing from John 10, they explore how sheep know their shepherd through consistent exposure, trust, and relationship—not through inherent knowledge. This same pattern applies to our spiritual lives as we learn to attune our ears to God's guidance through Scripture, the Holy Spirit's promptings, and wisdom from godly community.

The couple shares vulnerable stories from their own faith journey, including a remarkable moment when they both simultaneously felt God directing them to move to Florida during a church service—a prompting they initially resisted but later confirmed through multiple channels. This testimony demonstrates how God often speaks through layered confirmation, giving us assurance in significant life decisions.

For those wanting practical help, Ben and Liz outline four essential tests for discerning God's voice: the Scripture test (alignment with God's Word), the character test (reflection of God's nature), the fruit test (producing love, joy, peace), and the community test (confirmation from mature believers). They complement these with actionable steps including creating regular quiet time, journaling spiritual impressions, and establishing prayer partnerships.

Perhaps most comforting is their reminder that God shows tremendous patience with our learning process. Just as parents delight in a child's wobbly first steps without expecting immediate perfection, our heavenly Father rejoices in our growth as we develop spiritual discernment. The ultimate goal isn't perfect performance but genuine relationship—a connection where we recognize His voice amid life's competing noises.

Ready to develop a more intuitive recognition of God's voice in your life? Listen now, and start your journey toward clearer spiritual discernment and deeper communion with the Shepherd who knows you by name.

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What happens in your brain when you give generously? Ben and Liz tackle the fascinating science behind "cheerful giving" and reveal how our brains actually release dopamine and endorphins during acts of generosity – the same reward chemicals we experience when receiving gifts ourselves!

They share vulnerable stories of their giving journey, including a surprising mountain bike gift divinely orchestrated between Ben and a missionary friend, and a powerful moment when they each received the exact same financial amount to give while praying separately. These experiences reveal how giving stretches our faith while simultaneously connecting us more deeply with God's heart.

Drawing from Randy Alcorn's Treasure Principle, they unpack six transformative frameworks for developing a cheerful giver's heart, including the fundamental understanding that "God prospers me not to raise my standard of living, but to raise my standard of giving." Studies confirm that generous people break free from the scarcity mindset that plagues our culture – the more you give, the more "enough" you feel you have.

For those wanting to cultivate generosity, Ben and Liz offer practical steps anyone can implement: start where you are (consistency matters more than amount), practice gratitude daily, make giving decisions as a family, and build giving into your budget as a priority. The rewards? Joy that transcends circumstances, freedom from materialism's grip, modeling kingdom values for your children, and storing up eternal treasures.

Mentioned in the Episode: 

• Treasure Principle (affiliate link)

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Having experienced international travel in our youth—Liz on a mission trip to Jamaica at age 12 and Ben as an exchange student in Russia at 15—we knew we wanted cultural exploration to be part of their family DNA. Despite the logistical challenges of traveling with half a dozen kids (including marathon 20-hour road trips), we discovered that the benefits far outweighed the occasional car sickness episodes and roadside diaper blowouts.

The science behind our intuition is fascinating. Research confirms that travel experiences create more powerful memories than material possessions—something we verified when none of our children could remember Christmas gifts but could vividly recall details from family trips. Travel activates the brain's novelty-seeking reward system while increasing cognitive flexibility and empathy. We also discuss how experiencing different cultures aligns perfectly with biblical principles, from Abraham's journey to a new land to Jesus declaring the temple "a house of prayer for all nations."

In this Episode we cover: 
• Science supports that travel memories are stored differently in our brains than gifts or material items
• Experiencing different cultures increases cognitive flexibility and makes people more agreeable
• Biblical precedents for travel include Abraham's journey and Paul's missionary trips
• Traveling connects us with God's multicultural vision of "every tribe, tongue, people and language"
• Children exposed to different faith expressions often develop stronger personal faith
• Experiencing other cultures doesn't always depend on travel. Find multicultural experiences around your city
• Practical tips include packing "busy bags" for kids, bringing healthy food options, and using audiobooks
• Budget strategies involve traveling with other families, planning during off-seasons, and meal planning
• Using credit card points can significantly reduce travel expenses without creating debt (if done correctly)
• Teaching children flexibility and maintaining a "happy heart" when plans change builds resilience
• Most Christians today (70%) live in Africa, Asia, and Latin America rather than the West

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What if the secret to a thriving marriage isn’t found in perfection, but in the messy, beautiful journey of serving one another? After 20 years of marriage, raising six kids in eight years, and now navigating life with four teenagers (plus seven chickens, two dogs, and our newest additions—two goats), we've gathered a kind of wisdom that only comes through lived experience.

In this candid conversation, we’re sharing eight essential tips for building a strong foundation in marriage. From embracing what we call a “servitarian marriage”—where each of us makes a conscious effort to prioritize the other’s needs—to learning how to fight fair without ever mentioning “the D word,” we’ve found that practical, grounded advice speaks to both newlyweds and couples who’ve been in it for the long haul.

We talk about why we’ve never stopped doing date nights (even when parenting has us running on fumes), how keeping short accounts through forgiveness keeps our hearts soft, and why laughter is one of our most important tools in tough seasons.

We don’t shy away from the hard stuff, either. Financial disagreements? Yep—we’ve had our share. Coming from different economic backgrounds created tensions we’ve had to navigate with intention. We also share what we’ve learned about valuing all forms of intimacy—not just physical—and how establishing meaningful family traditions has brought us closer, offering a holistic approach to marriage that honors both its challenges and its joys.

Maybe most importantly, we open up about our own missteps and the growth that followed—from early days when gaming addiction nearly drove a wedge between us, to the healing power of forgiveness when expectations weren’t met. And our bonus tip? Limit digital distractions. It’s a modern challenge that demands real boundaries and grace.

Whether you’re just starting out or celebrating decades together, these eight tips (plus a little bonus wisdom) offer practical tools to help your marriage grow stronger through a posture of mutual service. Because in the end, it’s not about perfection—it’s about embracing the mess together and finding blessing in the journey.

Mentioned in this Episode: 

• Sacred Marriage (affiliate link)
• Love & Respect (affiliate link) 
• The Great Sex Rescue (affiliate link)
• Sheet Music (affiliate link)
• Our Servitarian Guide
• Our Digital Detox Guide

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Download a free 30 Day Digital Detox Guide

The digital revolution promised connection, but delivered an epidemic of isolation. In this deeply personal and science-backed exploration, we reveal how screen addiction is fundamentally altering our children's brain development and mental health. With depression rates among teens increasing 250% since smartphones became mainstream and self-harm hospitalizations for young girls rising by 188%, the evidence is clear: our digital lifestyle is exacting a devastating toll.

But the most profound loss might be what psychologists call "mutual mind"—the synchronous face-to-face connection where our brains actually harmonize with others during interaction. Studies using hyperscanning reveal that during eye contact, our brainwaves synchronize in ways digital communication simply cannot replicate, creating feedback loops that strengthen bonds and build intimacy.

In this Episode:
• Since 2010, depression rates among teens have increased by 250% while suicide rates for girls ages 10-14 have risen by 167%
• Social media, video games, and smartphones utilize a "variable ratio schedule" reward system that creates the same addictive brain patterns as gambling
• Critical brain development in ages 10-15 makes this period especially dangerous for forming digital addictions
• Face-to-face connection creates "mutual mind" where brains actually synchronize during interaction, something digital communication cannot replicate
• 68% of parents admit to being frequently distracted by their phones when spending time with their children
• Our family implemented guardrails: no smartphones until 16, no social media until leaving home, digital filters, and weekly digital Sabbaths
• Complete digital fasts, while initially difficult, restored creativity, connection and joy in our family
• We've created a free 30-day digital detox guide for families seeking balance  

We're not advocating becoming Luddites—we're encouraging intentional digital hygiene that prioritizes embodied, face-to-face connections. Download our free 30 day digital detox guide and join us in reclaiming what matters most: authentic human connection in an increasingly virtual world.

Mentioned in this Episode: 

• The Anxious Generation (affiliate link) 
• Renovated (affiliate link)

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Ever wondered if enjoying the teenage years is actually possible? As parents of four (soon to be five) teenagers, we've discovered it's not just possible—it's happening in our home right now. Despite the cultural narrative that teen years are something to survive rather than savor, we've found these to be some of our most rewarding parenting seasons.

In this episode we cover:
• Understanding the unprecedented challenges teens face today including seven-plus hours daily on screens
• The correlation between first-time obedience training and better teen outcomes, with 36% better conflict resolution
• Why embodied, face-to-face time (at least 15 minutes daily) is critical for today's digitally distracted teens
• The continued importance of physical touch, even with awkward teenagers
• Setting appropriate digital boundaries and using accountability software
• The "Dad Factor" and how father involvement dramatically improves teen outcomes across multiple metrics
• Implementing "dad dates" and special trips as rites of passage that help teens transition toward adulthood

Remember that teenagers are like brownies - they might be crusty on the outside but they're still gooey in the middle. Don't grow weary of doing good, for in due season you will reap if you do not give up.

For more info on how Active father figures make a difference in teens see https://americafirstpolicy.com/issues/fact-sheet-fathers-matter-pass-it-on

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Ever caught yourself thinking, "At least I'm not like THAT person"? This episode dives into the uncomfortable truth about our natural tendency toward self-righteousness and why it might be the biggest obstacle in our spiritual journey.

Ben and Liz unpack Jesus' parable of the Pharisee and tax collector from Luke 18, revealing how easily we all slip into comparison-based spirituality. We're startled by research showing 93% of drivers rate themselves "above average" (statistically impossible), and how we consistently use irrational reasoning to justify our own morality while harshly judging others.

The surprising good news? Acknowledging that "none of us are good" is actually liberating. When we stop trying to justify ourselves and embrace our need for mercy, we find freedom from the exhausting cycle of moral superiority. This humble posture not only transforms our relationship with God but allows us to extend genuine grace to others.

Mentioned in this Episode: 

• The Truth About Us (affiliate link) 
• Study: Are we all less risky and more skillful than our fellow drivers?
• Study: The Illusion of Moral Superiority 
• Study: Feeling "holier than thou": Are self-serving assessments produced by errors in self- or social prediction?

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God's thoughts about us and our thoughts about God hold tremendous power, shaping our identity, relationships, and entire worldview in ways we rarely recognize. But what if we allowed God to define Himself? Join us in this God thoughts episode as we discuss:

• How small thoughts about God can have big impacts on how we view ourselves and the world
• Creating healthy thought life means understanding God's true character
• "Black" negative thought patterns vs "green" life-giving thoughts physically change our brain
• Common misconceptions include seeing God as cosmic cop, distant watchmaker, or angry judge
• God defines himself as "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love"
• The Hebrew concept of "hesed" (covenant faithfulness) describes God's reliable, enduring love
• Practical transformation comes through daily meditation on scripture
• Journaling revelations about God's character reinforces healthy thought patterns
• Taking thoughts captive means actively catching and correcting distorted views
• Who we love becomes our people—making our thoughts about God central to identity

Resources Mentioned in this episode:

• Switch On Your Brain (affiliate link)
• The God-Shaped Brain (affiliate link)
• God Has a Name (affiliate link)
• Renovation of the Heart (affiliate link)
• The Anxiety Reset (affiliate link)
• You Are What You Love (affiliate link)
• Renovated (affiliate link)

We'd love to hear what topics you want us to discuss in future episodes! Contact us through our website at our1blessedmess.com or follow us on Instagram and Facebook to join the conversation.

CORRECTION: Ben mistakenly says "Dallas Jenkins". He meant to say "Dallas Willard" in reference to the book Renovated. 

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Life in a dual entrepreneurial home is an intricate dance of responsibilities, creativity, and the occasional chaos that comes with raising a family. In this episode, we navigate the joys and challenges of our unique journey as we run two separate businesses while caring for our six children. Our conversation dives into the realities we face, strategies we've adopted, and how we've turned challenges into shared successes.

• Discussing the concept of a double entrepreneurial household 
• Sharing our first steps into entrepreneurship 
• Balancing our distinct business schedules 
• The roles of help and outsourcing in our home 
• Understanding the challenges of traditional gender roles 
• Embracing the chaos and messiness of family life 
• Discussing the biblical perspective on entrepreneurship 
• Learning to communicate effectively as partners 
• Practical tips for creating a work-life balance 

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The E-Myth Revisited (affiliate link)

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