What is it to be perfect? Without blemish? Without flaw? Wouldn’t it be nice to be perfectly happy? Ot, to find the perfect partner? To have children who behave perfectly? We all want things to run perfectly, resulting in the prefect result. All of us hope we’ll turn in perfect work, make perfect decisions, answer questions perfectly, and be the perfect employee, spouse, parent, sibling, friend, speaker, writer, business person, etc. etc. etc.

And yet, as we read down the list above, we laugh, knowing that we will do none of those things perfectly. In addition, we don’t really expect perfection in the world around us. Not really. However, despite what our intellect and reasoning tell us, we continue to be disappointed when things don’t turn out perfectly or when others do not behave perfectly. We know in our heart of hearts that perfection is the “enemy” and people are not “perfect” and the world is not “perfect”….and still, we are disappointed in imperfect results.

So confused by this notion, we even have something we call “the perfect storm,” the odd notion of a rare combination of adverse meteorological effects combining into a particularly violent weather situation that we then apply to similarly rough situations in our economy, society, business, etc. Wait a minute….is perfect a “good” or a “bad” thing?

Parallel to being perfect, is the concept of “perfectionism.” Yeah, we all cringe a bit at that word as we think of the person who wants things “just so.” If we’re being honest with ourselves, we might even admit that person can be us. After all, we all like things the way we like them. Is preference a form of perfectionism? Rationalizing in our own mind, we tell ourselves that our preferences pull-up short of perfectionism because they’re “little” or they don’t “inconvenience others” or they’re not “too much to ask.” How far do we go to have things the way we want them? How irritated do we become when they’re not?

Returning to our opening question, I repeat, what is it to be perfect? Merriam Webster tells us that it is a “state of being entirely without fault or defect.” Flawless. Then, the dictionary tells us that it is “satisfying all requirements.” Accurate. Then is says “corresponding to an ideal standard.” Next comes “expert, proficient” followed by “pure, total.” Perfect is even refers to being “legally valid.” Apparently, being “perfect” is quite contextual. No wonder our relationship with it is strange.

For those of us struggling to exist with our strange relationship with perfect, the “perfect storm” concept may be the most instructive. No one really wants a perfect storm – it is violent and dangerous. And yet, one might find beauty in its awesome power, rare combination of dynamics, spectacle, or how it looks from a satellite. We might admire it as a reflection of its highest form, the pinnacle of such a conflagration of elements resulting in “perfection” of what the possible combinations might ultimately be. In a sense, a perfect storm is a storm in its most complete way of being; design and form taken to the limits of its component elements.

For we mortal humans, perfection might then be the best version of ourselves. Not necessarily the one without flaw, but the one that is the greatest form of our design, the one that reflects all of what we are most capable. This is not the one that is always right, always on, always virtuous, always fun, always wise, or always helpful. Why not? Because we are not designed for flawless execution. We are not made to be without error or failing. We are not built for the endless repetition of stumble-free living.

I’m reminded of a scene in The Matrix Reloaded in which Neo finds himself speaking with the Architect, the machine mind of this alternate universe in which humans have been converted into living energy sources, batteries, to power the machine world known as the matrix. The Architect tells Neo of an original matrix in which humans were placed into a virtual world that was “perfect” but it failed because they discovered that humans weren’t made to live in “perfection.” Humans, by design, needed a world in which they could make mistakes and experience grit, imperfection, in order to survive, let alone, thrive.

We are not made to be flawless. Machines are made to repeat tasks flawlessly. Computers follow the commands of code repetitively and (mostly) flawlessly. We are something different. We are rational but also emotional. We have capacity for logic but also possess passions that can possess us. We have days when we’re “on” and others when we’re limping along, short of our best. But in all of it, we are operating within the boundaries of our design. We may be “better” in certain occasions but our core design is not as a flawless machine. Flawless would make us something less than human.

What is it to be perfect? Whole. Complete. As designed. We are complex – many pieces. What and where are all of our pieces? We can’t collect them all. We can’t contrive or fabricate them. Some must be found. Others must be nurtured. Still others must be received. We can only keep moving forward. Trying, striving, to be fully ourselves, fully alive. Honest and true to our design. And then we must forgive ourselves when we stumble upon our “imperfections,” the flaws and mistakes that ultimately reveal our humanity as it is meant to be. Even when we’re “not quite ourselves,” we are in so many ways being ourselves.

And when we fall short? We must admit it. Apologize when we let others down. Take responsibility for our failings. It is in our design to have bad moods, say mean things, not pay attention, break promises, and stumble. No, we don’t want to, but no matter how we try, we falter. The human machine is not without flaw. But, it has the beautiful capacity of self-awareness md self-reflection. It has the capacity to see the truth of our choices and behavior – we can experience failure in our own personal, highly self-aware way. And we can seek to make amends.

Wait a minute, is this to say that we just walk along, writing-off our failings and foibles with a casual “I’m just living my design” rationalization when we are being the worst of ourselves? After all, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says “So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Not at all. We are absolutely called to strive for flawlessness in our love and mercy toward others. We are called to live virtuously in every situation. We are called to make the best decisions and steward our gifts to their fullness. But we will fail, no matter how hard we try. Even the saints among us fail as those of history failed. The perfection that Jesus calls us to in His Sermon on the Mount can only be reached with help, God’s Grace is necessary for that kind of perfection and it will not happen in the world in which we now exist.

For our time in this world, we need to think of our process of “being perfected” as one of moving toward more virtuous living, better choices, and becoming our best version as something more akin to Kintsugi, golden joinery, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with urushi lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. We are going to be broken in many ways, chosen and unchosen, but moving through it, we learn and are made more perfect, more fully ourselves, in the repair and in moving forward. Perhaps more on that another time.

Today, walk forward knowing that the perfect version of yourself is not flawless, but the one most fully you, the good and the bad, in all of its brokenness as well as its virtuousness. We are each being perfected along the way, and even when we chose to be less than the best of our design, we have the chance to see it, make reparation for our mistake, and continue on, even more beautifully, sanctified in our effort to do better knowing even as realize that we will never be without blemish.