Some stories take a decade to tell. This is one of them.
On this episode of Out of Focus, host Shannon Stewart sits down with her America’s Next Top Model Season 1 castmate, Katie Cleary, for her first long-form conversation about the tragedy, grief, and redemption she walked through after the loss of both her husband and her first love — events that made headlines but never told the whole truth.
After years of public scrutiny, heartbreak, and a darkness that nearly overtook her, Katie shares how God met her on the floor of her kitchen, lifted her out of despair, and rebuilt her life piece by piece. This is not a Hollywood story — it’s a Holy Spirit story.
If you’ve ever felt broken beyond repair, overwhelmed by grief, or unsure if God still sees you… Katie’s testimony will remind you that there is no pit so deep that God’s love isn’t deeper still.
They discuss:- ANTM memories & early career
- The pressure of public scrutiny
- The tragic loss of her husband
- Losing her first love weeks later
- Hitting rock bottom
- Crying out to God in absolute desperation
- How Jesus rebuilt her life from the ground up
- Finding purpose, identity, and healing
- Faith after tragedy
- Hope for anyone walking through grief
Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome
01:40 — ANTM memories & reconnecting after 20 years
06:15 — Life in entertainment & early career
12:40 — Marriage, private struggles & pressure
18:22 — The tragedy that changed everything
24:55 — Public scrutiny, rumors & media pain
30:40 — Losing her first love
35:18 — Hitting rock bottom
39:02 — Crying out to God
43:45 — A turning point in faith
47:01 — Rebuilding life with Jesus
52:14 — Purpose, healing & redemption
55:30 — Encouragement for anyone hurting
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
This conversation will break your heart and heal it at the same time — because the God who met Katie in the ashes is the same God who meets us in ours.
If someone you love is facing grief, tragedy, or a story too heavy to carry alone, share this with them. You never know what God might use to save a life.
***This episode includes sensitive topics, including suicide and grief.
If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to someone you trust or contact your local crisis hotline. You are not alone, and your life has immeasurable worth.
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