Oxymoradox

tats by Oxymoradox

written, produced, and recorded by belak

ft. @1mosh & @raresptna

lyrics:

(belak)

if it's all in my head

running 'round, afraid of nightlights

castle of sheets on my bed

will you keep me safe in the night time?

and i, oh i wish i was something

better than nothing at all

ill keep my head in the blankets

cause it feels the safest from you

(mo$h)

can we try, i wanna wait one more night

oops accidentally hit enter

can we try, i wanna wait one more night

you lied, i can never see you in my life

can we work it out, just tell me honestly

why do you gotta doubt, cause baby

i been on my own, without you i might cry

and you been all alone, so i think we might try

when you call my phone, there's nobody i'd like to talk to more than you

(belak)

if it's all in my head

running 'round, afraid of nightlights

castle of sheets on my bed

will you keep me safe in the night time?

and i, oh i wish i was something

better than nothing at all

ill keep my head in the blankets

cause it feels the safest from you

(rare)

head stuck in the clouds

i been trying to get right out

it's a cold world here, and im back

under covers controlling, when am i gonna want to

stop all of the attacks

is it too late?

to say my last goodbyes

i miss your soft face

wish i could see it all the time

and when we fall down

it just reminds me of your lies

when i can't help myself no more

for all of the amount of times i've cried

cause is it too late?

to say my last goodbyes

i miss your soft face

wish i could see it all the time

and when we fall down

it just reminds me of your lies

when i can't help myself no more

(belak)

if it's all in my head

running 'round, afraid of nightlights

castle of sheets on my bed

will you keep me safe in the night time?

and i, oh i wish i was something

better than nothing at all

ill keep my head in the blankets

cause it feels the safest from you

written, recorded, and produced by belak

co-produced by michael harrison

Lyrics:

Ooh,

I’m tryna make my way to you.

This feels like a nightmare,

and my dreams don’t ever fight fair,

so I’m tryna use my imagination

to go—oh—

to a different place inside my head.

But I don’t wanna try no more,

'cause I made up my mind,

and I’m so sure.

I’m fine.

You heard what I said:

I’m fine.

Guess I could be dead,

but I’m trying.

I’m alive instead,

and I’m trying.

I’m flying.

I’m up in this bitch, and I’m flying.

You can’t take me out of the sky.

Try and shoot me down,

but I’m trying.

Yeah,

play with thoughts that run around my head.

Sometimes I feel like I’m my only friend.

Imaginary people in the room,

they said, “Lately, man, you been depressed.

We don’t like when you come and kill the vibe.

When you were young, everything was fine.

Then you grew up and lost your mind.”

My imaginary friends kicked me out the squad.

How is what I have never enough?

I’d be fine just feeling all your love.

Head is spinning round, and round, and round.

I’ll be fine if you hold me down.

Down.

It’s not what it seems,

being alive without purpose,

trying to die when uncertain.

I already forgot what it means,

being alive and discouraged.

I’ve multiplied my insecureness,

and it’s okay 'cause—

I’m fine.

You heard what I said:

I’m fine.

Guess I could be dead,

but I’m trying.

(Ooh yeah, ooh)

I’m alive instead,

and I’m trying.

I’m flying.

I’m up in this bitch, and I’m flying.

(Fly)

You can’t take me out of the sky.

I’m trying.

(This, my, shit, go!)

You heard what I said: I’m fine.

Guess I could be dead, but I’m trying.

I’m alive instead, but I’m trying.

I’m flying.

I’m up in this bitch, and I’m flying.

You can’t take me out of the sky.

Try and shoot me down,

but I’m trying.

(Fall - haha, you are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning)

written, recorded, and produced by belak

co-written and ft. nat

Lyrics:

(belak)

wooden neck

im feeling stressed out

things are too complex

what are we doing now

cant lay down

when im about to drown

inside out

from the inside out

lungs flooded

with all my tears

i got ink on my skin

bunny ear tattoos that i gave you

wish i could save you

cause i would do anything

(nat)

to see you smile again

(i would do anything)

to fix this fucking mess

(i would do anything)

sitting at my desk

(thinking of anything)

its just a cloud head-d-d-d-d

(belak)

ill play the strings that

are all connected

your heart and heaven

lets be together

it only gets better from here

(nat)

i love you slowly

so come and hold me

my one and only

ill play the chords inside your head

all throughout the year

(belak)

all the tabs i wrote down

just so i could make you mine

split my heart into fifths

your the song stuck in my mind

(belak & nat)

wooden neck

im feeling stressed out

things are too complex

what are we doing now

cant lay down

when im about to drown

inside out

from the inside out

lungs flooded

with all my tears

i got ink on my skin

bunny ear tattoos that i gave you

wish i could save you

cause i would do anything

wooden neck

im feeling stressed out

things are too complex

what are we doing now

cant lay down

when im about to drown

inside out

from the inside out

lungs flooded

with all my tears

i got ink on my skin

bunny ear tattoos that i gave you

wish i could save you

cause i would do anything

written, recorded, and produced by belak

co-prod @harelatias

Lyrics:

I thought that I had a nightmare,

I woke up and you were right there.

I was lucid dreaming, I stare at the

Night sky, it stretches for lightyears.

But my fear is this:

That I'm stuck between four walls

And hopelessness,

And that I won’t ever break the ceiling

That I'm stuck underneath

In this endless dream.

And I'm, I'm

Stuck inside a nightmare.

I think I might die here.

Baby, oh,

I'm, I'm

Gripping water on the nightstand.

Think I saw the Hatman, but it's okay—

I don't care.

They could cut my skin off,

Freddy Krueger, skinwalk.

Up in this bitch, like an insomniac,

Itching my skin, like a hypochondriac.

I thought that I had a nightmare,

I woke up and you were nowhere.

I was just astral projecting,

To stare at my reflection,

Caught in an inception.

But my fear is this:

That I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place again,

And that I won’t ever

Make my amends.

It’s just over and over and over again.

All night,

All night,

I’ve been waking up

Till the break of dawn,

Night sweats on me.

All night,

All night,

Have to mix the Benadryl

When I'm coming down off the Codeine.

All night,

All night,

I’ve been waking up

Feeling fake as fuck,

Melatonin OD.

All night,

All night,

I see fucking spiders on the wall.

I got ants crawling on me.

written, recorded, and produced by belak

co-prod michael harrison

Lyrics:

i tried, but i dont ever really see the upside baby

so i just want to kiss again

she said “were always inside we should go out more baby”

the suns kissing my skin again

everythings problem

there aint nothing to it

when the night brings issues

the day brings solutions

and ill move right through it

like ghosts dance to music

and shoot like cupid

ill put an arrow through your heart

cause im stupid

and so is love

but ill try

cause of you

and all my life

i was wasting time

time i didnt have to spend

im as fake as all my friends

but this love is real as fuck

its as real as this shit gets

and i dont want it to end

now darling im turning blue

when all my loves running through

so take my neck tie the noose

cause all i wanted was you

(lets dance)

i dont ever really see the upside baby

so i just want to kiss again

she said “were always inside we should go out more baby”

the suns kissing my skin again

“play that song one more time, so we can dance more baby”

the music kissed my ears and then

before all of this, there was nothing

and i was tryna run from it

but its funny you cant run from nothing

i turn my back for one second, its something

i swear to god, i cant catch a break

honestly, my head has been buzzing

like the power cord up to my brain is fried

and time is unraveling slowly

while theres arteries pumping my veins apart

and leaving my body all ghostly

sometimes i think im deranged

other times i think im insane

but all the while

i fall for you baby

fall for you baby

i tried, but i dont ever really see the upside baby

so i just want to kiss again

she said “were always inside we should go out more baby”

the suns kissing my skin again

(when you hear the rhythm, start to move)

one more time, so we can dance more baby

the music kissed my ears and then

we kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss under the moonlight

kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss under the sunshine

written, recorded, and produced by belak

co-prod & ft. @ihateyoutravy

Lyrics:

(IHATEYOUTRAVY)

Psychoanalyzing all my friends,

Ninety-nine times out of ten,

I'm the only one unaware of all my sins.

Can somebody please tell me how this ends?

(Belak)

Always get it wrong,

I can never seem to get it right.

Everywhere I go, I'm the problem,

Just like all of my friends.

Well, that depends

On who you ask about last night,

'Cause I don't know how it went.

He said, she said,

“That I wanna do it again.”

I'm just like all of my friends.

(IHATEYOUTRAVY)

It's been hard to sleep,

You've been far from me.

Can you talk to me?

Can you talk to me?

(Belak)

What you don't know

Is I got FOMO.

'Cause when that love hits,

Then it leaves you in ghost mode.

(IHATEYOUTRAVY)

Can you stick around?

I need you right now.

(Belak)

When nothing's feeling right,

It was your love that was there

All through the night.

Always get it wrong,

I could never—

(Are we dreaming?)

Everywhere I go, I'm the problem,

Just like all of my friends.

I'm the problem, just like all of my friends.

I went and fucked it all up,

I would do it all again.

I don't feel alive

Unless I feel like all of my friends.

(Are we dreaming?)

I'm the problem, just like all of my friends.

I'm the problem, just like all of my friends.

I went and fucked it all up,

I would do it all again.

I don't feel alive

Unless I feel like all of my friends.

Le-Le-Less I feel like all of my friends.

(This disk contains CD-ROM data that may damage your audio system. Please—)

written, produced, and recorded by belak

lyrics:

im just tryna see the best in me

the way that you affected me

got me detesting me

its recipe

for disaster

whats before and after?

life is always testing me

i forgot the laughter

it doesnt even matter

what did you expect from me?

im just another actor

playing out the chapter

pull me closer

im wide awake

ive been watching the stars fall

from the sky to the lake

i see the moon in your eyes again

the night cries on your face

aurora borealis got me floating away

i stared at that light so long

my eyes go numb

i feel like

i cant feel nothin

i reached for those stars so far

i hold on to my hope

cause if i dont

i have nothing

i mada myself lovesick

over you

whenever we fight then we make up

like it was nothing

im losing my mind over here

i dont care anymore

wont you just

pull me closer

im wide awake

ive been watching the stars fall

from the sky to the lake

i see the moon in your eyes again

the night cries on your face

aurora borealis got me floating away

through the skylight

stars will dance around my head

thoughts all dialating

taking shape outside

instead of annihilating me

while i think of regrets

got a lot of those and

they’re piling on my chest

they’re piling on my chest

how am i supposed to clean up this mess?

cause ive been doing my best

wont you

pull me closer

im wide awake

ive been watching the stars fall

from the sky to the lake

i see the moon in your eyes again

the night cries on your face

aurora borealis got me floating away

written, produced, and recorded by belak

co-produced by @photographic-memory

lyrics:

wouldnt it be better?

if i wasnt stuck here with myself

and overcast weather

and evil around me

and people that couldnt care lesser

“try staying positive”

that doesnt mix with the pressure

i guess my happy chemicals

they all left on an adventure

without me, so fuck it

ill cry by myself till my head hurts

im mad at the world

cause the good people ended up dead first

and all i do is let my friends down

everytime that i try

misery loves company

so then lets play some i spy

i spot the biggest fucking loser

ive seen in my life

its me and myself

and a god who wont throw me a lifeline

and all this self loathing and hatred

i find behind my eyes

when i get alone alone with myself

sometimes i just wish

id love myself a bit more

instead of stalling untill my times up

im tired of being a tourist

inside of my love

i want to take control

of my feelings

and then fly up

cause to me love sounds just like its

better

if i wasnt stuck here with myself

and overcast weather

and evil around me

and people that couldnt care lesser

“try staying positive”

that doesnt mix with the pressure

i guess my happy chemicals

they all left on an ad-

wouldnt it be better?

if i wasnt stuck here with

nothing i could do

wouldnt it be better?

written, recorded, and produced by belak

ft. @sadboyprolific & @lunzero

Lyrics:

(belak)

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my head

losing my sense of self

when im pouring up this cup again

wish that i could give a fuck about it but i dont and

i would tell myself that shit but its not true at all

and

really i care too much so i always take the fall

then end up down below

with all this pressure i get

(belak)

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im pouring up this

pouring up this

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im smoking on this

smoking on this

(sadboyprolific)

i hope you cry

i hope you die

i hope you bleed about me

and i dont mind it

everytime you try and tweet about me

they say my musics saving lives

i hope it keep residing

cant think about the place id be

if i aint even found it

got me dead

in my whole body

so im thinking bout it

got in the dirt

searched through the earth

and now im feeling grounded

already questioning my worth

you make it worse by doubting

pouring kerosene along the curb

it burns around me

(belak)

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im pouring up this

pouring up this

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im smoking on this

smoking on this

(lunzero)

all in my head

i did it to myself again

cut off my friends

id rather live this way then to

open up my wounds

then try to bleed myself out dry

i thought that it might help me

but it wasnt worth the try

your never really gonna fill the void

so tell me

whatll be the breaking point?

(belak)

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im pouring up this

pouring up this

overwhelmed

but its all in my

all in my

sense of self

thats why im smoking on this

smoking on this