Yes, you read that title correctly. We have a profound respect for gerbils up here and won't hear a word against them. If you take issue with that, or indeed with Rodentia in general, well, we would remind you that the characteristic that defines Rodentia is a "single pair of continuously growing incisors in each of the upper and lower jaws,"* so let THAT keep you awake at night.

And that podcast you heard at the top of the show? Mission: Rejected. Make sure you check it out and give it five stars and all that good stuff.

You’ve been listening to: 

John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. 

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

*OK, fine, it's from Wikipedia, we were in a hurry.

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Look, when your life is in the hands of someone who only recently gave up huffing glue, you keep your will updated and hope for the best.

Such is the situation our four guests find themselves in, but hey, they agreed to be part of this season of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Off This Toxic Planet, so on their own heads be it, really.

Dr Theo (swoon) has sabotaged their escape "plan" for purposes that are hazy at best and really f*&king stupid at worst, and now the crew are stuck on a planet that's trying its celestial best to kill them.

Will they survive? More importantly, will IaCGMOTTP be renewed for another season? Until next time, Space Monkeys, go get some sun. Really, you're looking a little peaky.

Thanks as ever to the wonderful Mission: Rejected podcast for lending us their voices and talent and not immediately sending us a Cease & Desist order after reflecting upon their choices. (They recently did a live show — you can see the hilarious video here: https://youtu.be/KpGsFitlbS4?si=CGOg7_CIsKj2LRRo.)

You’ve been listening to:

John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. 

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fable and folly dot com and support our sponsors.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Y'all. Y'ALL.

Ok, we've given you no reason to respect our judgment, but we're not wrong on this one. Sure, OK, we were wrong about the forniculator — yeah, that's not a thing — but we're right about this. You are going to LOVE this show.

WTFKMS is super-smart, funny, and moves faster than Olivia making fun of Madeline's math skills. Give the episode here a listen, then trot on over to your podcatcher of choice to binge all eight eps.

Do remember, please, to subscribe, rate, review, and share. It's a nice wee gift for the creators. :)

Find it here: whothefkilled.com

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Stuck on Planet Bob where pretty much everything is awful all the time, the crew is freezing and desperate for a safe place to ... well, to screw up, if their past is any indication. Huddled for warmth, buffeted by high winds, they suddenly hear the faint sounds of laughter and applause. Because of course they do.

You've been listening to:

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

Our thanks and a hearty recommendation to listen to https://www.missionrejected.com/https://www.missionrejected.com/, an extremely funny podcast about the guys who get the mission when the first guy rejects it.

Until next time, Space Monkeys, yes, you probably ought to get that thing looked at.

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The crew are tramping aimlessly across the blistering and occasionally freezing surface of Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, otherwise known as "Bob") and things are pretty grim. Like, not even Brothers Grimm, more Quintuplets Grimm, plus a few singles and a couple sets of Twins Grimm. Just very very grim.

I mean, they might survive, but even if they do, they're going to smell really bad, and does anyone need that right now?

You've been listening to:

John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. 

Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Big thanks to Mark Restuccia for C4ing C4's lines.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors.

Find out more about 10 Apocalypses and Citeog Podcasts here: https://www.citeogpodcasts.com/

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Have you ever been invited to a party you really REALLY didn't want to go to? Like, you won't know very many people, you're not sure how to dress for it, and the atmosphere is toxic? But you're being frog-marched by an army of ants onto an away ship, so you don't really have a choice, and you're sure the chances of getting anything decent to eat are hovering at slightly below zero?

Yeah, well, welcome to our world. Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, or, affectionately, "Bob") awaits our bedraggled little crew, and it looks like this particularly party is going to be their last.

You’ve been listening to:

John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott.  Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at FableandFolly.com and support our sponsors. 

Until next time, Space Monkeys, remember this very VERY important lesson:

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Brought to you by the team that brought you Wolf 359, you know it's going to be good.

Faith Adler has crossed the country to spend the summer in NYC. There she meets David, and the two of them quickly get mired in ... something. It's complicated.

Together with friends Tori, Matt, and Ginah, Faith and David navigate situationships, friendships, found family, and all the messiness of being young.

Faith is a DJ, and that pretty much describes how she approaches life — willing to scratch, skip, mute, sample, and even reverse until things start to make some sort of sense.

If you love Community, High Fidelity, and Fleabag, this show definitely has your name on it. Listen to the Director's Intro with Gabriel Urbina, then head over to Audible for the full listen. You're gonna love it!

You can find it at www.hitsingles.show.

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I'M SORRY, WHAT? HANG ON, LET ME GET TO A QUIETER PLACE, JUST A SECOND....

Phew. That's better. Things have gone bananarama aboard the Oz 9, and the crew has spent the last few hours trying not to get dysentery or squashed crossing a digital freeway. A few folks are hanging out in Meanwhile, which is basically a Narrators' Neverland with a few extra lost boys, and someone keeps trying to stick a fish in my ear.

You're welcome to join the fracas, if you really want to, but wear a helmet and avoid Wiggy. He's an asshole.

You’ve been listening to:

John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.

Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fable and folly dot com and support our sponsors. 

Until next time, Space Monkeys, try to have a happy childhood, because you never know when you might have to relive it.

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To everyone who responded to our blurb writer last time, they've been sacked. I mean ... does this look like message-in-a-bottle time? Using our show notes to get attention and complain about your job.... Seriously, we've no time for whingers 'round here-

HA! April fool. Still me. It was lovely seeing some of you on the socials. I'd print out your comments, only I don't have a printer and the walls are too damp to post things on.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know it's "spring" on the Oz 9, which means the bioswamp is in full flower and the mating calls of the egrets is deafening. The flowers and general greenness are pretty, but the giant spiders have taken to spinning themselves ear muffs to reduce the noise. All right for some, I guess. Anyway, hope it's pretty where you are.

You've been listening to:

Sarah Golding is our incredible dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND in this hella episode as our sound designer. Our music is the brainchild of John Faley, and poor artist Lucas Elliott just can't quite get free of us.

Until next time, Space Monkeys, stay well, and send earplugs and a towel? I have no idea where my towel is....

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If you haven't yet discovered the podcast How I Died, you are in for a treat! A ghoulish, scary, maybe-listen-with-a-friend "treat," but yeah, a treat nonetheless!

How I Died follows the story of forensic pathologist (NOT coroner) Jon Spacer. New to the oddly fatal place to live, Springfield, Dr. Spacer has an interesting super power: he can talk with the dead. Actually, that's not that impressive, hell, I can talk to the dead, but his super power is that when they talk back, he can hear them. So maybe that's the super power: he can hear the dead. OK, I'm getting a little sidetracked.

Anyway, it's a great show — annoyingly well written, fabulously acted, with intense and immersive sound design, so stick it in your ears.

You can find it here https://pod.link/1450764373 and in all the usual places.

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