Ever had a meltdown on your hands because you bought the "wrong" brand of strawberries or a different noodle shape? In this episode, Sarina breaks down why kids get rigid about specific foods — and how to gently build flexibility without turning mealtime into a battle.

Key concepts

• Predictability helps kids feel safe; rigidity is predictability taken to an extreme, often used as a form of control
• Packaged foods are engineered to be identical every time — kids can detect small differences even when adults can't
• "Parenthesis foods" — foods that only get accepted under a growing list of specific conditions (bowl, brand, show, temperature)
• Flexibility-building works best in small doses: a single bite of something new, not a full plate

Parent reflection questions

• Is there a food in our house that's become a "parenthesis food"? What's on the list of conditions?
• Am I offering variety in a way that feels safe (small, optional exposures) or overwhelming (a whole new plate at once)?
• Where could I loosen just one variable this week — bowl, temperature, brand — without asking for a big change all at once?

Eating with your child isn't just nice to have — it's a learning opportunity. In this episode, Sarina Murrell, MS, CCC-SLP, breaks down the neuroscience behind why modeling eating (not just telling a child to eat) is one of the most powerful tools parents have, and gives realistic, low-pressure ways to build toward shared family meals.

Here's a dedicated Key Concepts section, plus two more reflection questions rounding it out to five. Slot these into the show notes right after the summary paragraph.

Key Concepts

• Learning by observation, not instruction — telling a child to eat doesn't teach them how; showing them does (the soccer-ball analogy).
• Face blindness — we can't see our own mouths or faces while eating, unlike our hands or arms, so a child can't simply copy what they can't watch you do without you being in front of them.
• Mirror neurons — the brain's visual-cortex-based system for learning through watching; observing someone eat activates the same neural patterns as doing it yourself.
• Applies from roughly 6 months on — once a child starts solids and sits in a feeding position; earlier bottle/breastfeeding relies on innate reflexes, not modeling.
• Ability vs. manners — children pick up both the mechanics of eating and incidental habits (like talking with a full mouth) from what they observe, not just what they're told.
• Feeding each other builds trust — offering and receiving food is an intimacy ritual found across cultures (e.g., feeding a partner at a wedding), and a child wanting to feed you is a sign of engagement and trust.
• Social modeling amplifies eating — children often eat better in group settings (like restaurants) because of the shared observational experience.
• Shared meals build incrementally — start with a snack next to your child, then a shared snack time, then one anchored meal a week (e.g., Friday nights or Sunday mornings), and let it grow into routine.
• Mealtime is more than nutrition — it's bonding, connection, and family culture, not just calories delivered.

Parent Reflection Questions

• Where does my child currently eat, and am I eating with them or nearby them?
• What's one low-effort way I could eat something alongside my child this week — even a snack or a cup of coffee?
• Is there one meal or day I could realistically protect as a shared family meal time?
• Am I modeling ability (how to eat) as well as manners (how we behave while eating) — and are those two things getting mixed up in how I respond to my child at the table?
• If my child wanted to feed me a bite right now, how would I respond — and what would that moment be teaching them?

What Is a Feeding Therapist?

There's no official degree or license called "feeding therapist" — so who actually is one? In this episode, Sarina breaks down the overlapping (and sometimes confusing) roles of speech-language pathologists, occupational therapists, lactation consultants, and registered dietitians in a child's feeding journey.

Key Concepts

• "Feeding therapist" is a specialization, not a licensed credential — it's built on top of an SLP, OT, or (less commonly) RD license
• SLPs: oral motor and swallowing safety
• OTs: sensory regulation and the motor mechanics of getting food to the mouth
• Lactation consultants: milk transfer/production and getting baby fed, not oral motor specifics
• RDs: nutrition, volume, and growth
• Which discipline covers infant feeding in a hospital (SLP or OT) depends on that system, not a fixed rule

Reflection Questions for Parents

• When someone is introduced as your child's "feeding therapist," do you know which license they're practicing under?
• Has your child's team included more than one of these providers? How did their focuses differ in practice?
• If you've worked with a lactation consultant, were you ever referred to (or from) a feeding therapist?

Baby-led weaning or purees? In this episode, feeding therapist Sarina Murrell breaks down the real difference between letting baby lead the feeding and spoon-feeding purees — and makes the case that most families land somewhere in between. She walks through why babies are inherently messy eaters (and why that's developmentally normal, not a red flag), then offers a simple three-step framework to help you decide what's right for your baby, your energy level, and your family's season of life right now.

1. Where am I right now — do I have the capacity for messy, exploratory meals, or do I need convenience this week?
2. Am I treating purees as a failure, or can I reframe them as one valid food form among many?
3. What's my goal for this specific meal: getting food in, or letting my baby practice a skill?
4. How often am I actually sitting down and eating with my baby, versus feeding them separately?

Going out to eat should be a shared, positive memory — but for a lot of families, it turns into a stressful cycle of waiting, wiggling, refusing, and cold food. In this episode, Sarina walks through why restaurants are hard for young children in the first place, and four practical strategies to make the experience calmer and more successful for the whole family.

Key concepts:

• Children (especially birth to five) are wired for sameness and predictability, not novelty — so restaurant eating goals should look different than they do for adults
• "Success" at a restaurant can simply mean calm and connection, even if your child eats the same familiar foods every time
• New foods and higher-volume eating are better goals for home, not restaurants
• Previewing the menu (or bringing food from home) reduces uncertainty and anxiety for both parent and child
• You don't have to order off the kids' menu — side dishes, shared plates, and small portions of familiar foods are all valid options
• Waiting is the hardest part of the restaurant experience for kids — plan around it with snacks or by delaying table time until food is close
• A hard restaurant moment doesn't mean your family can't do restaurants — give yourself permission to adapt or leave, without worrying about what others think

Reflect on this:

• What does a "successful" restaurant outing actually look like for your family right now?
• Is there a restaurant or a few go-to menu items that already work for your child?
• What's one strategy from today's episode you could try on your next outing — previewing the menu, bringing a familiar snack, or splitting up wait time?

Is it OK to use screens to get through mealtime with my child? If you've ever grabbed the remote, handed over the iPad, or given up your phone just to get your child fed, this episode is for you — and it starts with permission, not guilt.

In this episode, feeding therapist Sarina Murrell breaks down why parents reach for screens at mealtime, what the research says about screens and the brain (dopamine, cortisol, and attention), why screen size and distance change how "checked out" a child becomes, and how distracted eating affects hunger cues and food choices. She also shares how to tell the difference between a bored child and a child who "needs" a screen to eat — and a realistic, step-by-step way to start scaling screens back without overhauling every meal at once.

If this episode resonates, start with just one meal this week — often a weekend dinner is the easiest place to begin.

Learn more about feeding support at TheAirplaneSpoon.com

You've got this. Love. Enjoy. And eat.

🎧 This is The Airplane Spoon Podcast — real questions and real stories about feeding children, hosted by a pediatric feeding therapist.

Constipation is one of the most overlooked contributors to “picky” or low-appetite eating in young children. This episode walks through the withholding cycle, how a full colon affects hunger, how to recognize withholding behavior, and the evidence-based basics of treatment — diet, toileting routine, and medication when recommended.

• Have I noticed my child stiffening, hiding, or going still at certain points in the day — and could that be a withholding going poop response rather than a mood or behavior issue?
• Does my child's appetite pattern (little interest in meals, filling up on a few bites) show up alongside any signs of bathroom discomfort or infrequent stools?
• Am I comfortable bringing up poop frequency or possible constipation at our next pediatrician visit, even if bowel habits feel like an awkward topic?

What are your family's values around feeding your child — and are you holding onto them when a doctor, therapist, teacher, or even a stranger tells you otherwise?

In this episode, feeding therapist Sarina Murrell breaks down how assumptions and stereotypes — about breastfeeding, cultural food practices, self-feeding, and more — quietly override what families actually want for their kids. Through real stories from her clinical work, Sarina makes the case for one simple shift: ask, don't assume — for parents and providers alike.

Parent reflection questions

1. What are your non-negotiable values around how your child eats?
2. Has a provider ever told you something needed to change without asking what you wanted first?
3. Where do you fall — low priority or high priority — on things like self-feeding, utensils, or where your child sits to eat?

A question I get often: should you cook with your child, and how do you actually do it without it turning into chaos? Short answer: yes, you should — and it gets much easier once you adjust a few expectations. This episode walks through three parts: what adults need to expect from themselves, how to simplify the process to set everyone up for success, and what to realistically expect from your child once you're cooking together.

The goal is exploration, not compliance. Cooking with a child works best when the purpose is curiosity and connection — not perfect instruction-following or staying spotless. Recipes with lots of ingredients and steps (like bread or pizza dough from scratch) are more likely to get messy; that's normal, not a failure.

Cooking with someone is different from cooking for someone. Cooking for others is an act of love aimed at a finished product. Cooking with others changes the goal — it's about the shared process, which won't look like solo cooking, and that's expected, not a problem to fix.

Adult regulation comes first. Kids often mirror the adult's stress response. If a spill or mess sends the adult into frustration, the child becomes dysregulated too. Small moments — flour on a face, a spilled cup of milk — can be reframed playfully ("you look like a snowman!") instead of corrected sharply. Pouring, in particular, is a genuinely complex motor skill (shoulder, elbow, wrist, hand coordination), so grace matters.

Start simple to build success. Easy entry points: squeezing orange juice with a hand juicer, blending a smoothie from frozen fruit, or assembling a "pizza" on premade crust with jarred sauce and shredded cheese. Modeling the task first (showing, then letting the child try) helps kids who've never done it before. Complexity — chopping, grating, mixing dough from scratch — can be added gradually as confidence builds.

Involvement lowers pressure, and that changes eating. Kids often taste food during the cooking process — licking a spoon, biting into raw crust — that they'd never willingly try if served on a plate. The difference is involvement (they made it, so they're connected to it) and the absence of pressure (nobody's asking them to eat it). Serena doesn't encourage tasting during cooking, but she doesn't discourage it either — that intrinsic curiosity is valuable and shouldn't be interrupted.

Watch the body, not just behavior. Wiggling, trying to get down, or attempting to leave often signals sensory or emotional discomfort, not misbehavior. Naming it ("you got a wiggle") helps kids build self-advocacy instead of having an adult silently fix the discomfort for them. Giving a child a small "job" (like rinsing an apple) can offer a break without fully disengaging them from the activity.

The adult's mood sets the tone. If the adult is genuinely having fun, the child usually will too — and kids can tell when that enjoyment is faked.

• What's my actual expectation when I picture cooking with my child — a clean kitchen, a finished dish, or a shared moment? Which one am I prioritizing without realizing it?
• Where could I simplify a recipe I already want to make, so my child can be involved without it becoming overwhelming for either of us?
• The next time my child gets wiggly or tries to leave during a food activity, can I name it out loud instead of redirecting or correcting right away?

In this episode, Sarina Murrell, feeding therapist and director of The Airplane Spoon, answers a question she's heard again and again this week: why does a child gag the instant any bit of solid food lands in their mouth?

She breaks down the protective role of the gag reflex, why mixing purees with lumps can backfire, what "lateralization" means and why it matters, how sensory differences (including in autistic children) change the picture, and the surprising link between mouth breathing and gagging.

Parent Reflection Questions

1. Does my child gag more when I feed them versus when they feed themselves — and what does that difference tell me?
2. Have I noticed my child chewing mostly at the front of their mouth, or do they move food to the side teeth?
3. Does my child breathe through their mouth while eating, or do they seem congested/mouth-breathe often during the day or at night?
4. Is my child's gag response tied to certain textures specifically, or does it show up even with non-food sensory input (like touching messy play materials)?
5. What's one small strategy from this episode I could try this week — front-mouth exposure, distinct chewing vs. swallowing foods, or a chat with our pediatrician about breathing?