On today's episode, we're cutting our teeth on David Slade's 2005 directorial debut, Hard Candy, starring Elliot Page in their breakthrough role. We discuss Elliot's electric performance and the perplexing ways in which critics received this film at the time. (Looking at you, Roger Ebert!) We also learn about what castration really does to an erection and briefly touch on some famous predators and how their crimes have done little to effect their careers.

We keep it light on the Lunchtime Poll, revealing our early screen names and shouting out some cool people we met on the internet.