Soooooooo how long does it take to get over something bad....something horrible.....is there a certain amount of time you should allow yourself to grieve and then pull it all together in efforts that you dont loose yourself????? So theres an old saying you may or may not have heard of......Pain Is Minimal ....Yet Suffering Is Optional.....IS IT????? What is your definition of pain....how do you define suffering......IS THERE A CUT OFF POINT......Ladies.....let's talk about this from the eyes of 3 Black Women and see if there is any validity to this statement.....I mean it sounds reasonably correct in theory....BUT CAN YOU OPT OUT OF SUFFERING.......hmmmm.....