I see you more positively than you are

We see those we care about the most in an overly positive light.  This kind of perception is known as “vicarious optimism”.  You can tune in to any crime show and listen to people say, “Why, Joe would never do a thing like that.  He just isn’t capable”.  Oh really?  Joe’s friends and family are prone to changing their beliefs only when it comes to good news, but they won’t budge even when they hear that he’s killed 35 people in 15 states in a murder spree.  Vicarious optimism also causes us to believe that positive events could happen more often to people we like, even when that event is unlikely to happen.  As we get to like people more, vicarious optimism deepens.  In actuality, all of this is a form of denial.  Help those you love by being aware of this bias, seeing them for who they are and helping them become the best version of themselves.