“Mean girls” start at age 4.

Do the “mean girls” just sprout out of the ground as vicious middle schoolers and reach their peak of sadistic behavior in high school?  No!  They usually start at age 4.  Nobody reins them in and it gets worse.  Relational aggression, which is the harm to someone’s relationships or social status, starts in preschool.  Mostly girls do it.  Boys just beat each other up.  What does relational aggression look like?  It’s bullying the friends of enemies, putting rules on friendships and misinterpreting the behavior of other girls as hostile.  Girls who aren’t optimistic and are quick to frustrate resort to these behaviors.  They’re used to getting what they want.  They copy what they see.  Watch your daughters playing.  How do they relate to others?  Help them understand the behaviors that set them off.  Reinforce kindness.  You don’t want your mean girl turning on you.