Letters to my kids: A suicide survivor's lessons and advice for life

Episode 27 - Part 1: Setting achievable goals: Not just bravado and motivation talk

07.12.2018 - By Letters to my kids: A 2-time suicide survivor and advocate for realistic optimism.Play

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Episode 27 - Part 1: Setting achievable goals: Not just bravado and motivation talk

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. CohenFrom the Free Music ArchiveReleased under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

https://www.excelatlife.com/articles/guide_to_goals.htm

"We tend to set goals that are unreasonable, perfectionistic, and unachievable."

- Often people state "I'm just lazy" or "I'm unmotivated" when they are unsuccessful. Yet, most of the time, the problem isn't laziness, but lack of understanding about how to achieve goals. For instance, I hear people all the time "I'm going to lose 10 pounds in the next two weeks" or "I'm going to exercise an hour a day" or "I'm going to limit myself to 1200 calories a day" or some combination of these statements in attempts to manage weight. However, even though they might achieve these goals over the short-term, any long-term change is unlikely. They will revert to old habits with resignation sighing, "I'm unmotivated. I'll never be able to lose weight."

"A Goal without a plan is just a wish" - Antoine de Saint-Exuperys

GOAL SETTING PRINCIPLESDream goalFirst allow yourself to fully imagine what you would like to achieve. When you imagine your goal, try to imagine it as fully as possible. Allow yourself to picture what it would be like when you achieve it. What does it look like? What are the differences in your life? How will you feel? What will others see? In fact, write down what you imagine. 

"People with goals succeed because they know where they're going" - Earl Nightingale

- Realistic but challenging. However, even though this is your "dream" it needs to be within reason. For instance, it may be reasonable to lose weight and to feel healthier, but is it reasonable to "look like a supermodel?" Unless you already have the genetic makeup for it, you are setting yourself up for failure. 

"The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting and achieving goals" - Og Mandino

2) Performance goals rather than outcome goals. The most achievable goals are personal performance goals rather than outcome-oriented goals. A goal of winning a competition, for instance, is an outcome goal. One problem with an outcome-oriented goal is that we have less control over outcome than we do over performance.

In the work setting, an outcome-oriented goal may be a goal of obtaining a promotion or increased salary whereas a performance-oriented goal may focus on specific activities to improve the work environment or productivity. The interesting thing about this type of goal is a person may be more likely to achieve the desired outcome as well.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing" - Walt Disney

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