April 02, 2025

Part Two Of Two - ESG's Graduation Speech (Kids Enthusiasm Level 9)

7 minutes

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Ever wondered what a graduation speech would sound like if it wasn't filtered through layers of administrative approval? DJ ESG, the self-proclaimed "people's champion of the suburbs," delivers exactly that in this raw, unfiltered reimagining of a high school commencement address.

Drawing from his experience as a 1996 graduate who still lives in the district, DJ ESG offers something the superintendent can't: authentic connection with today's teenagers. While administrators hide behind spreadsheets and policy documents, he's out there playing basketball with students, skateboarding alongside them, and genuinely understanding what makes Generation Z tick. The contrast couldn't be more striking.

Styled like a WWE promo complete with catchphrases from The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin, this alternative graduation speech celebrates students who survived "peak chaos"—from pandemic quarantines and Zoom classes to "Kahoot Wars" and the "Skibbity Riz Apocalypse." Instead of vague platitudes about the future, it acknowledges what graduates really care about: social connections, creating viral content, and figuring out life after college. It's a blistering critique of educational bureaucracy that prioritizes appearances over substance, and a passionate call for mentors who can speak to students on their level.

Whether you're a frustrated educator, a recent graduate, or a parent wondering why school leadership seems so disconnected from student realities, this episode will resonate. It's time we stopped talking at teenagers and started talking with them—and as DJ ESG makes abundantly clear, that conversation needs to happen in their language, not ours. Listen now and imagine how education might transform if authenticity replaced administrative caution.