34. Q&A: March 2021 Edition

It’s that time again to open up the digital mailbag, and respond to some of your questions, which I absolutely love, love, love. While some of today’s questions offer new twists on previous topics, all of them are, of course, excellent ones which I know so many are wondering about as well, so let’s dig in, shall we?

Today, we’ll look at ways to handle the constant ‘I want’ requests from your kid, revisit the concept of changing the family dinner if it’s not working well currently, look at sleep and dealing with early risers, and handling the stage of combining ‘No’ with emotions. We’ll also delve into the dynamics of having an older and younger child, as well as the world of playdates especially at a friend’s house, and the importance of being an asker as opposed to a guesser. Again, I love receiving these questions so much because they reflect real life, and give me the opportunity to share real, practical advice rather than theoretical. Please keep them coming – I can’t wait for our next Q&A session!

The Finer Details of This Episode:

 There’s no cure for sibling fighting; it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other

 Kids are going to be relentless in their asking

 Create a culture of answering your child’s requests with ‘Yes’, ‘No’, or ‘Maybe’ where ‘Maybe’ means “Probably, but it will turn to a ‘No’ if you keep asking”

 If you can get children talking about their ‘favorite’, you can derail just about any behavior that you’re not wanting; they’re often looking for engagement with you

 If your dinner time is miserable, it’s okay to fix it; you don’t need to have it the way others might

 Giving up a nap can help with children who wake up too early

 Don’t be tricked into thinking there are ‘kid night owls’

 Circadian rhythms are often backwards in children with ADHD

 We don’t want to be ‘sportscasting’ with our kids

 Statements such as ‘No angry’, ‘No happy’, ‘No sad’ could actually be expressing ‘Don’t look at me/Don’t see me’ so don’t look at them in that moment; it’s a phase

 When you have an older and younger child, you need to cater to the older child’s needs; give them a safe space to play and create

 Leaving your child with another parent is based on your answer to ‘Do I feel comfortable with how the other parent disciplines and/or handles it when the shit hits the fan?’

 Playdates are just a reality today; choose the people that you like and respect; clarify with the other parent about ‘trading time’ – be an asker, not a guesser; paying for child interactions happens all the time so it might be something worth considering

Quotes:

“What it is, is engagement.”

“I’m a fan of, like, reverse engineering.”

“Sleep gets conditioned by us and by the things we need to do, but toddlers don’t have that.”

“Be very careful that you’re not limiting your older child because of the younger child.”

“As your child gets older, you don’t have to be friends with your child’s friends’ parents, so that’s kind of a real relief.”

“It’s so rare for somebody to come and grab your kid out of their yard.”

“We do feel like we have to hover.”

“We need parental time.”

“It’s far better to be an asker, because there’s no ambiguity and there’s no mistakes.”

“You need to fucking ask if there’s guns in the house. Like, that’s…a non-negotiable.”

Links:

Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/

Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU

Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - 

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738

Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices