Paul Dalgarno is a journalist and writer. He was born in Aberdeen Scotland and came to Australia in 2010. His first book entitled And you may find Yourself is a memoir about his journey into fatherhood and I’m going to tell you about his first novel Poly.

Poly is the story of Chris and Sarah, or maybe it’s the story of Chris and Biddy, or it might even be the story of Chris and Zac.

Chris and his wife have decided to open up their relationship; to become polyamorous. Chris and Sarah have a loving partnership, and two adorable kids. They also haven’t had sex for years and after discussing it figure this is a way to get something back in their relationship.

This is the first thing you notice about Poly; Chris and Sarah communicate with an almost radical sense of openness. From the outset we are privy to Chris’ inner world and walk alongside him as he anxiously shares that world with those around him. Chris is admirable for not being admirable. We witness his petty jealousies (and not so petty jealous moments) and feel him battling to put others first.

This is not a vision of masculinity we are often privy to. Chris faces up to the versions of being a man we are served in the media (heck his wife is dating some of them) the conflict between competing ideals is intense and Chris suffers for not knowing how to be the ideal when that ideal means different things to all his loved ones.

Life gets complicated when Chris opens himself up to the openness of the Poly life. Zac is welcomed into their family home as a sort of adopted adult child while Chris also falls for Biddy. These competing loyalties pull at Chris until he finds himself unable to take the strain of expectations.

It is in depicting the anxieties of not being enough that Paul gets at the heart of our modern uncertainty. Chris wants to be all things. He wants a vision of masculinity that lets him be tough and soft, sexual but also understanding of Sarah’s inability to have sex with him. Chris wants the impossible and has no way to separate reality from all the competing versions of his life.

As I got into Poly I thought that Paul’s decision to focus the reader exclusively through Chris’ point of view was a mistake. As the relationships deepened it felt a little lacking that we didn’t have challenging perspectives, particularly from female characters. But Paul also had one hell of a surprise in store.

Ultimately Chris’ increasingly claustrophobic narrative voice builds us into the tensions that drive at the heart of the story. Poly is definitely a read for anyone who wants to explode their preconceptions and open up new ideas about life, love and aussie blokes.

If any of these issues have brought up things for you there is help available.

In Australia, where we broadcast from, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you're anywhere else in the world search online for mental health support services and know that help is available.

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