Paul’s is a story of buried hurt that had to be dealt with regardless of the pain that revealing and healing would cause. His story is evidence that God wants us to be healed. God heals us in community. Healing is often painful, but always worth it. God will make something bad into something good. This is called redemption.

Paul shared his story of being sexually assaulted as a young child. He was young enough that he didn’t really remember, and doubted whether his memories were true. Then as an adult married and watching his own child, these memories started flooding back. This time the memories were so vivid and clear that it was affecting Paul’s attitude in life. He found himself angry all the time. Even his wife would ask what was wrong.

Paul found the courage to step into these painful memories instead of repressing and hiding them. While he initially doubted his memories, when he discovered that others in his family knew, he found out that all of his memories were true, but they hadn’t really been dealt with.

He shares his journey through the pain of his childhood experiences, of being abused, pain of not being protected by family, especially those who were supposed to protect him. He also shares his journey through the fear of being rejected by his wife, family and who knows else. He carried the baggage of shame and guilt, feeling tarnished and unworthy.

In his struggle and pain, Paul recognized his need for God. While Paul knew he needed Christ and knew he needed community he still had fear and pain to overcome. Through the same child that brought all this back to the surface, God used her relationship and pursuit of Christ to push him past these obstacles into a church community where he could find safety, healing and eventually even joy.

Paul still had to be vulnerable. He had to open up and share his hesitations and fears in order to find victory and overcome them. Paul had to learn how to forgive in order to find peace in his heart. While these things were hard, Paul had the persistence, determination and faith in God to push through.

Some of my favorite quotes are

“There will always be a harvest.”

“I’m on the gravy train of life with biscuit wheels.”

“When Jesus hung on the cross, Jesus made the same promise to everyone.”

“All my scars are going to be gone.”

SexualAssaultofaChild FamilySecrets Redemption BadIntoGood ChristDiedForMe GivingForgiveness FromVictimToSurvivor ItStillHurts GodSpeaks RightWhereGodWantsMe PeaceIntheMiddleOfthePain